Mojo Hoops

Dr. Jason Kidd

2011-06-13T09:22:00.000-04:00

Champion Jason Kidd of the Dallas Mavericks checks LeBron James for signs of heart and finds nothing. No heartbeat, no pulse.

Dennis Rodman Reebok Ad - 1989

2011-04-06T14:08:00.000-04:00

Who remembers this Reebok commercial featuring soon-to-be Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman? This is pre-tats, pre-piercing, pre-Madonna, Detroit Piston champion Defensive Player of the Year Dennis Rodman pumping Reeboks with subtle jabs at the Bulls, Michael Jordan and Nike.

Jason Kidd - What The Kidd Did - video

2011-03-22T14:53:00.000-04:00

Ain't no party like a J Kidd party cuz a J Kidd party don't stop.
Jason might be an aging bearded baller fighting his way to the finals one more time. But back in the day, he was rhymin' just like Shaq and Kobe.

More Tehmeena Pics for Your All-Star Holiday

2011-02-19T20:05:00.001-05:00

The All-Star Break is kinda like a holiday for NBA heads. I like holidays that have gifts. My gifts to you are more pics of Knick fan Tehmeena Afzal.

The Knicks got Melo and the Knicks got Meena. Things are looking kinda right in New York.

Odom Gives Griffin a Reality Check

2011-01-17T17:53:00.001-05:00

Lamar Odom gave Blake Griffin a little of what he's had coming to him for months now. While some opponents marvel at Griffin's devastating dunks, and highlight fetishists wait each night for Clipper clips, fans of physical old school basketball have been wondering why nobody has laid a hammer on Griffin to let the rookie know that life in the paint ain't easy.

Near the end of last night's Lakers loss to their Los Angeles housemates, Odom dragged Griffin into extracurricular action, leading to the rookie's first ejection. The only damage done was one tugged jersey. Maybe next time, somebody like Kurt Thomas or Kevin Garnett will deliver a stronger message to Griffin to keep his ego below the rim.

Seminoles Defeat Dookies!

2011-01-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to write about how Butler beat Duke last April. The Blue Devils found a way to keep that from happening. I've been waiting since then to celebrate some ill fate happening to Duke on the court. Kyrie Irving's injury isn't eligible because his name isn't LeBron James.

Finally, the Florida St. Seminoles came through by beating Duke 66-61. Now, Duke is no longer number one. They have obvious cracks in their armor. And hope builds for the possiblity that a team other than the drones of Coach K will win the NCAA Championship this year. Any down day for a Dookie is a great day for the rest of us. Enjoy this day of celebration.

Karma Bitch - LeBron James

2011-01-13T11:33:00.000-05:00

Hahaha- LeBron James tweets about bad karma in Cleveland and then LeBron James twists his ankle. The Heat's road winning streak crashes against the lowly Los Angeles Clippers while LeBron backpedals off his karma tweet.

LeBron wants to be a villain, yet he has no backbone. He's gutless with no heart. He's soft.

If only we could get some current NBA player to channel Bill Laimbeer or Dennis Rodman and launch LeBron into the third row.

Mojo Jinx

2011-01-12T02:25:00.000-05:00

Feels like a basketball jinx around here at Mojo Hoops. So many of my favorite NBA ballers are out with serious injuries. In an effort to end the Mojo Jinx, I'm appealing to the basketball gods to heal my dudes and lift the curse.

Joakim Noah, thumb ligament. He'll already miss the All-Star game. Heal his thumb for a deep playoff run.

Kevin Garnett, calf strain. Normally, that's not a serious injury. But at 34 years of age and 15 years in the league, KG is in his old dog years. Heal him up for one more run with Doc (who looks worried as hell in the photo).

Delonte West, compound wrist fracture. He'd barely come back from serving Czar Stern's heavy handed suspension before he badly broke his wrist. Bring him back strong so he can help the Celtics beat LeBron in the playoffs.

Matt Barnes, torn knee cartilage. Welcomed by Kobe in the off-season, Barnes has finally joined a squad that knows how to use his defensive skills. Now he's out until March. The Lakers are going to need him to join Artest in messing with Ginobili in the playoffs. Basketball gods, Free Matt Barnes! (sorry Rev. Ev. I couldn't resist).

Caron Butler, torn knee tendon. Butler is out for the season just when the Mavs were showing signs that they could take the West. The Spurs have stayed healthy and Caron goes down. Ginobili, the flopper, is healthy. Richard Jefferson, the luckiest player in Texas, somehow stays healthy. And Caron is out for the year. Something just ain't right about that.

Anderson Varejao, broken cheekbone, torn foot tendon. It was bad when Varejao hugged and giggled with LeBron during the Heat's annihilation of the Cavs in Cleveland. Seems like the basketball gods have punished him for it. First, he broke his face. Actually, his cheekbone. When he came out in the Bill Laimbeer mask, that seemed to infuriate the basketball gods even more so they busted his foot tendon while he was running a simple practice drill. The next day, the Lakers beat the Cavs by 55 points. Ain't that a bitch.

Basketball gods, oh basketball gods- heal all these dudes! Turn LeBron's ankle if you must. Break Ginobili's nose if it pleases you. But for the sake of basketball fans who like players who entertain with defense and hustle, lift the Mojo Jinx!

Stoudemire & Felton Destroy Nash's Suns

2011-01-08T11:53:00.000-05:00

Amar'e Stoudemire returned to Phoenix to show the Suns organization what they missed out on by not outbidding New York for his skills. He led the Knicks to their biggest blowout win of the season 121-96.

Amar'e is an MVP candidate in New York and he's changed the Knicks from bottom dwellers to playoff contenders. Meanwhile, Suns point guard Steve Nash is going down with the Suns' ship. Phoenix is having their worst season since Nash's arrival. They've gutted their roster and every recently departed player has a better record with his new team than the Suns have.

Nash, arguably the most overrated MVP in NBA history (twice), is now the subject of trade rumors. Some reports claim that the Knicks are interested in Nash.

There was a time where it would've seemed that Knick coach Mike D'Antoni would love to have his old Phoenix point guard Nash running his fast paced offense in New York. But after what the Knicks did to the Suns on Friday night, D'Antoni must be feeling good about his departure from Phoenix as well as the players he has now compared to the somewhat limited talents of Nash.

Knick poing guard Felton Spencer put any 'Nash to New York' rumors to rest by getting his first career triple double against the Suns. He finished with 23 points, 11 assists and 10 rebounds. His Phoenix counterpart had 14 points, 9 assists and only 2 rebounds. The Knick guard outplayed Nash up and down the court, silencing the Phoenix crowd.

Nash played his usual soft matador defense and Felton took advantage and abused him all night. Slow and reluctant to play physical basketball, Nash was helpless in doing anything to stop Felton.

When Nash's lack of defense failed, he resorted to his favorite soccer technique of flopping to get calls. That didn't work either. Fifteen years in the NBA and he still hasn't learned how to play defense. What kind of MVP is that?

Nash and the Suns were outhustled and outworked by New York. The Knicks were up by eight points after the first quarter and 22 after the third. Suns owner Robert Sarver sulked in his courtside seats as reality set in that re-signing Amar'e should've been at the top of his 'to do' list last summer.

The Knicks keep rolling towards the playoffs while Phoenix flounders into irrelevance. Friday night showed us more of the greatness of Amar'e and the emerging talents of Raymond Felton. It was also another example of how Nash has never been good at slowing down top point guards in the NBA.

Trouble the Mayor - Bloomberg

2011-01-08T01:17:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching the movie "Trouble the Water" which features intense home video shot by residents of New Orleans' Ninth Ward before, during and after Hurricane Katrina. Even though Katrina was far more devastating, it's easy to see similarities between the indifference and disinterest shown by President George Bush during Katrina and New York mayor Mike Bloomberg during the Blizzard of 2010.

What both weather disasters reveal is that most politicians, especially ones who lean to the right like Bush and Bloomberg, are indifferent towards the needs of poor people, which often includes minorities. Bush commended Naval officers for refusing to allow desperate New Orleans citizens to stay at empty and deserted old naval barracks that were destined for demolition. Bush, ever eager to continue invading Iraq and promoting war in Afghanistan, refused to commit troops to help the citizens of Louisiana wage a far more urgent war against Katrina.

A day after last week's blizzard, Bloomberg laughed at the notion of busses being stuck in city streets. Here are shots of two different city busses, mere blocks from each other, in the relatively posh and mostly white section of Park Slope in Brooklyn.

There was another bus stuck just one block away. Why were the busses stuck? Partly because a bus rescue vehicle was stuck outside our apartment overnight. Not only were bus rescue vehicles stuck, but ambulances and fire trucks were also stuck in the blizzard. And tow trucks. If Park Slope was bad, it's easy to imagine what it was like in Bushwick and even further reaches into the hood.

Once snow plows were able to hit the streets later that day, Bloomberg made sure that the tourist spots of Times Square and Central Park were plowed. He made sure that the more popular avenues and streets of Manhattan were plowed. And he even ensured that the roads of plush Prospect Park in Brooklyn were plowed.

However, it was at least three days before side streets in Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island and the Bronx were cleaned. Many residential side streets were completely impassable. Some were mired in two feet of snow. Some had added obstacles of stuck cars that were iced in. And several of them were walled off on either intersection by over three foot banks of snow walls that were created when plows pushed avenue snow into the ends of streets.

When citizens are snowed in on that level, ambulance service is impossible. So even when the ambulances were freed from their own icebound dilemmas, they were often unable to get to people who most needed help. These failures led to the deaths of babies and adults who were unable to get immediate medical care.

Bloomberg has been defiant in refusing to admit to his whereabouts during his absence as the storm developed and dumped two feet of snow on the city. He refuses to accept blame for the lack of aid provided to the people. Instead, he's chosen to scapegoat his underlings. He denies culpability for the deaths of citizens he chose not to free from the grips of the blizzard. He sleeps well because tourist dollars kept flowing in.

While the aftermath of Katrina was wreaking havoc on New Orleans, Kanye West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." A couple years later, Kanye appeared on Nightline and was asked if he still thought Bush didn't care about black people.

"I have a hard time believing that George Bush cares about anyone," Kanye responded. "So sidebar Black people also."

The same could be said about Mayor Bloomberg. He has revealed his true colors as a mayor who sees tourist green before borough brown. He doesn't care about the citizens of New York as much as he cares about the business of New York. He doesn't care about needy newborns or infirmed old people. He cares about keeping up the illusion that New York is a city that never sleeps.

The city might not sleep, but Bloomberg does.

Thanx to my sister, @Blightyboo for the inspiration in all ways.

Amar'e Stoudemire, the Suns' Real Star Returns to Phoenix

2011-01-07T20:13:00.000-05:00

Amar'e Stoudemire leads his New York Knicks into Phoenix to face Steve Nash and the rest of his old Suns teammates. The Knicks are 20-14 and Amar'e is a leading candidate in the MVP chase this season. Phoenix is 14-19 behind their ex-MVP Steve Nash.

When Amar'e left Phoenix, there was rampant speculation that he would miss playing with Nash. Amar'e has proved that wrong in all ways. He's averaging career bests with 26.4 ppg and 2.5 apg. He's turned one of the league's worst teams around and made them relevant for the first time in a decade.

Meanwhile Nash, the only MVP in NBA history never to play in the Finals, has struggled without Amar'e. The Suns are having their worst season since Nash's arrival in 2004. Granted they haven't found a suitable replacement for Amar'e in Phoenix. Yet Stoudemire has helped Raymond Felton become a top point guard in New York while Nash hasn't found a way to elevate anyone on the Suns in similar fashion.

Dirk Nowitzki also saw a boost in numbers when Nash left the Mavericks in 2004. That season, he had his highest scoring average to that point and continued to elevate his game until he eventually became a more worthy MVP winner than Nash in 2007.

Offensive minded basketball fans praise Nash as being one of the best point guards ever despite his horrendous defense. Nash is good at creating shots and passing. He's a great free throw shooter and excellent from downtown. Yet dominant big men like Stoudemire and Nowitzki seem to improve with less heralded point guards.

Here's to Amar'e returning to Phoenix and giving Phoenix 50 reasons to miss him. Here's to Raymond Felton outclassing & outdishing Nash. Here's to the Knicks pushing Phoenix deeper into the abyss of rebuilding.

Roger Federer Hits Winner Between The Legs, Again - video

2011-01-06T11:28:00.001-05:00

Roger Federer has a Magic Johnson style tennis game. Instead of making the easy play, he makes the flash play that still results in points and wins. Here, instead of setting up to hit a solid forehand on his way to beating Thomas Schoorel, Federer sets up a winner between his legs. Even as he approaches 30 years of age, Federer continues to dazzle tennis fans like no one before him.

LeBron Calls Team 'The Heatles' - Who Is Yoko?

2011-01-04T13:12:00.000-05:00

LeBron James is getting that giddy, full-of-himself feeling again. Now that the Heat are well above .500 and cruising toward a top seed finish in the East, LeBron is breaking new boundaries in praising his own greatness.

"I see we sell out 99.1% on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles, off the Beatles. So every time we take our show on the road, we bring a great crowd."

When asked who was Paul McCartney and who was John Lennon, LeBron said, "I knew that was going to be a question. We're just the Heatles, man."

I'm not the biggest fan of the Heat nor the Beatles. I'll take the Bulls and Celtics over the Heat in the East, and Led Zeppelin and the Stones over the Beatles in classic rock. So I'm not one of those who is offended by LeBron putting his team on the level of Ringo, George, John & Paul.

Instead, I'm curious. Not so much about who would be John because the whole team seems cheesy like Paul McCartney's Wings. I'm curious about which one of their wives would be a good Yoko Ono. She joined her man John Lennon doing nude press conferences. Which Heat babe would be best in that role?

Savannah Brinson, LeBron's long time girlfriend, seems a little conservative to be a Yoko type. LeBron has zero political edge and she seems unlikely to spark him in any provocative direction. She'd be cute at the nude presser, but not quite edgy enough to be Yoko.

Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade's girlfriend, would be an outstanding Yoko, photo-wise. Real-life Yoko recalled her nude photos by saying, "We were coming from such a place of innocence." Does it get more innocent than Gabrielle Union fresh and waiting in a field of high grass? Even so, she's still a little safe compared to Yoko. No politics, no passion for peace. More Pamela Anderson to Tommy Lee than Yoko to John Lennon.

Adrienne Williams, Chris Bosh's fiancée, would be an outstanding Yoko. First, what a nude photo shoot that would be. Bursting with delights for the camera. What sets her apart from Savannah and Gabrielle is that Bosh needs her even more than John needed Yoko.

Bosh used to be The Man in Toronto. Now, he's just King of All Role Players. Where's the glory in that? Adrienne can blow up Bosh's ego and inspire him to demand a bigger role with the team, causing dissension and possibly the dissolution of the Heatles. Unlikely perhaps, but she still gets my vote for nude photo Yoko.

Ugh. Unfortunately, the most likely Yoko Ono is LeBron's mom, Gloria James. She already helped break up LeBron's first band/team, the Cavaliers. Between allegedly giving Delonte West her donuts and encouraging LeBron to take his ego out of Cleveland, Gloria James did more to get her son off the Cavs than his manager, Maverick Carter, and Pat Riley combined.

And something about Gloria James reminds me of Yoko Ono's singing. I bet this is what it sounded like in Delonte's Boston hotel room that night.

Sexy Knick Fan Tehmeena Afzal - video

2011-01-03T15:46:00.000-05:00

The New York Knicks are having their best season since 2000-01 when they finished with 48 wins. Part of their turnaround has to do with the outstanding play of new Knick Amar'e Stoudemire. The acquisition of point guard Raymond Felton has also boosted the Knicks' on-court production.

Maybe there's a little double exxtra motivation from the online presence of Knick fans like Tehmeena Afzal. The Celtics have sexy fans like Eliza Dushku and Maria Menounos. The Lakers have a legion of hotties who love their champions. But do any of them show their love like Tehmeena does in her latest video?

Tehmeena is 5'3" and 111 lbs of Knick fan fire from Pakistan. She grew up playing softball and now shows her love of sports by appearing in videos while wearing the gear of her favorite sports teams. This NFL season, she made a video in support of the New York Giants, but let's not hold that against her.

Tehmeena is a welcome asset to the culture of New York Knick basketball. Spike Lee may be the #1 Knick fan and Woody Allen is solid fan as well. But Tehmeena brings sexy back to the Knicks. Here's to a deep Knicks playoff run and a special new postseason video from Tehmeena.

Favre's Vanilla Ice Dance - video

2011-01-02T12:49:00.000-05:00

Brett Favre's injuries may be keeping off the field in the last weeks of his final NFL season, but a little headache isn't keeping the old dog from being crazy in practice and on the sidelines.
In last Friday's Vikings practice, Favre entertained his much younger teammates by performing dance moves that were popular even before his NFL career started in 1991. Inspired by Vanilla Ice's anti-classic "Ice Ice Baby", Favre launched into The Running Man. If he'd have taken his hands out of his pockets, maybe he could've done the Cabbage Patch too.
Now that his consecutive games streak is over and his NFL dancing days are winding down, Favre can just sit back on his tractor, download porn on his phone and get high on ammonia. Thanks for the memories Brett.

Washington Wizards Fight Club All-Stars

2010-12-27T13:19:00.002-05:00

The recent fight between Andray Blatche and JaVale McGee is the fourth altercation between Washington Wizard teammates in the short history of the team formerly known as the Baltimore Bullets. A franchise that distanced itself from violent imagery seems drawn to combative players.

I've put together a list of my starting five Wizards based on the best pick in each altercation. Since no worthy small forwards have fought in the Wizards organization, I had to use a little creative license to fill that roster spot.

At center, Brendan Haywood. The ex-Wizards big man fought poetic teammate Etan Thomas. Twice. Haywood reportedly body slammed Thomas to the ground at the Verizon Center after Thomas took a swing at him. Haywood also ripped out two of Thomas' dreadlocks (extension, I hope, for Etan's scalp's sake). For the sheer brutality and mayhem, Haywood gets the edge as our center.

Andray Blatche gets the nod at power forward. Who knows what really happened at the club last week when Blatche fought Ja'Vale McGee. But Blatche issued an apology while McGee has remained silent. I take that as admission that Blatche probably started and finished the action. So Blatche is our pick. Plus, he might bring blondie to the post-game festivities. Win-win for us.

At point guard, the 6'3" legend Rod Strickland. His 6'7" teammate Tracy Murray was allegedly recorded on a phone call speculating to their mutual female friend that Strickland was gay. Strickland heard the tape and took action. He went to Murray's Charlotte hotel room hours before game time and knocked on the door. When Murray answered, Strickland cold cocked him, blackened his eye and gave him 7 stitches as a reminder to keep his mouth shut. By taking decisive action and going Pacquiao on a four inch taller foe, Strickland shows the tenacity and savvy to be the starting point guard on the Wizards Fight Club All Stars.

At shooting guard, our man is gun toting, pistol joking Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas. He's not really a fighting type guy. He's not even really that tough or mean. But he joked around with guns and then poked fun at cops and NBA commissioner David Stern for not laughing along. If that ain't the ringleader for a fight club, I don't know who is. If you're going to have some be a "shooting" guard, he may as well pack a gat.

Small forward is tricky to fill because the only real candidate in any of these Wizard on Wizard altercations is Tracy Murray and he clearly can't fight since he let a man four inches smaller bruise and bloody him with no retaliation. So my pick is current Wizard 6'7" Josh Howard.

When 7'0 giant Brad Miller violently knocked down Howard's teammate, 6'3" Devin Harris, Howard ran across the court and exacted revenge on the much bigger foe. He also dared outrage a nation of red state patriots by refusing to "celebrate" the Star Spangled Banner. Howard is rough and ready for the Washington Wizards Fight Club All-Stars.

Who's got next in D.C.? Will Yi Jianlian blindside newcomer Rashard Lewis? Is John Wall gonna have to choke a Hinrich?

Black Santa's White Xmas

2010-12-25T23:14:00.005-05:00

Despite Joakim Noah being injured and missing the Bulls loss to the Knicks,

and despite Rajon Rondo being injured and missing the Celtics loss to the Magic,

and despite Ron Artest & Matt Barnes failing to shut LeBron James down on his way to a triple double and a Heat blowout of the Lakers,

and despite my Baltimore homey Carmelo Anthony missing the Nuggets loss to the Thunder,

and despite the fifth NBA game of the day being the lowly Warriors vs. the Blazers,

despite all those bad basketball things, I've still had a fantastic Christmas.

Black Santa never lets me down. He spreads joy and happiness to me and mine. He even made it snow a little bit because he knows how some people dream of a white Christmas.

Now that Black Santa's work is done, it's party time. The elves are at the club and the reindeer are bucks gone wild out back. And in the VIP room, Black Santa is making his own white Xmas dreams come true.

Go Black Santa.

Ho Ho Ho!

Last Day to Win Ron Artest's Ring

2010-12-24T16:04:00.001-05:00

There are only hours left for you to enter the raffle to win Ron Artest's 2010 NBA Championship Ring. The entry deadline is 11:00 AM EST on December 25, 2010. Winners will be announced later the same day. What better way to celebrate Christmas than to win Artest's bling?

Not only will the raffle's grand prize winner receive the 16 karat gold ring with its 16 oversized white diamonds, he/she will also win an expense paid trip for two to Los Angeles where they will meet Artest and sit in premium seats for a Laker game. The winner and guest will enjoy a two night stay at the Four Seasons Los Angeles at Beverly Hills and a $1,000 allowance for expenses including meals and ground transportation.

The winner will receive an additional cash prize of $13,007.50 to cover the taxes owed to the IRS for the luxurious ring.

All proceeds from the raffle will go to mental health charities. Tickets begin at $2 each with a $10 purchase minimum. The more tickets you buy, the cheaper the ticket.

Check out Ron Artest on Larry King talking about the raffle and how much it means to him. And then click here to buy your tickets!

LeBron James Favors Contraction

2010-12-24T11:00:00.001-05:00

LeBron James is in favor of the NBA eliminating teams to increase competition. As the Players Union moves deeper into negotiations to create jobs and maintain salaries, one of their most talented members is speaking out against the cause. Way to be a team player, LeBron.

"Hopefully the league can figure out one way where it can go back to the '80s where you had three or four All-Stars, three or four superstars, three or four Hall of Famers on the same team," James said. "The league was great. It wasn't as watered down.

"Imagine if you could take Kevin Love off Minnesota and add him to another team and you shrink the (league). Looking at some of the teams that aren't that great, you take Brook Lopez or you take Devin Harris off these teams that aren't that good right now and you add him to a team that could be really good. Not saying let's take New Jersey and let's take Minnesota out of the league. But hey, you guys are not stupid. I'm not stupid. It would be great for the league."

LeBron is wrong; he is stupid. As the U.S. battles a severe unemployment crisis, LeBron James is calling for the elimination of more than a dozen player jobs and hundreds of team & arena staff in any given NBA city.

From a basketball standpoint, very few teams in the '80s had three or four All Stars, superstars or Hall of Famers. The Lakers and Celtics come to mind. Maybe the Sixers for a couple years with young Charles Barkley, Dr. J and Moses Malone. Teams that managed to defy the odds and fill their rosters with superstars often won championships. The Lakers, Celtics and Sixers all drafted some superstars and acquired others through trades and free agency to assemble legendary teams. A combination of luck, good scouting and good negotiations led them to having historically deep rosters.

The same is true in today's NBA. The Lakers and Celtics have multiple superstars and they are the premier teams. They both drafted well (Kobe, Paul Pierce, Big Baby), traded well (Shaq with Lakers, Pau, Garnett, Ray Allen) and signed good free agents (Artest, James Posey, Shaq with Celtics). Good front offices find & develop good rosters regardless of the number of teams in the league.

NBA Players Union leader Derek Fisher must be displeased with LeBron's ill-advised comments. As Fisher leads the players into negotiations in the face of a lockout next season, LeBron is making arguments to cut back on jobs for players.

Imagine going into negotiations for more money and better working conditions for you and your co-workers, and one young hot shot dumb ass publicly says, "It would be better if we just fire some people and stop doing business with small market cities." That probably wouldn't go over so well with the average worker struggling to keep a job and feed his/her family.

Fisher's role as a union leader includes making sure players are on the same page and keeping any loose cannons in line with the program to help all employees achieve more success in their careers. Before tip off of each Laker game game, he casually meets with opposing team leaders to catch them up on the latest negotiation plans and strategies.

The Lakers battle LeBron James and the Heat on Christmas Day. Maybe Fisher should seize the opportunity to give LeBron a "Shut up" message with a body check like he gave Luis Scola in this clip from 2009.

Chicago Bulls "12 Days of Christmas" Video

2010-12-22T19:40:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Bulls get in the holiday spirit with a video for their version of "The 12 Days of Christmas". The lyrics are changed to have a basketball theme. Joakim Noah gets the most camera time while wearing Santa's coat and Scottie Pippen makes a cameo representing the old school Bulls.

The best lyric is delivered by Kurt Thomas who receives "seven back massages". As the second oldest player in the NBA, he probably could use a massage every day of the week.

Happy holidays NBA fans.

Lakers Sing Jingle Bells

2010-12-21T19:11:00.000-05:00

Ron Artest and Matt Barnes join a few of their Laker teammates and a couple Laker girls in singing lines from Jingle Bells in a Christmas message from the team. Ron's rhythm is a little off for a rapper, but his singing skills are almost as good as Dwight Howard's. Pau Gasol has a tough time with the lyrics, but he probably gets a second language pass.

J.R. Smith Monster Jam on Gary Neal of the Spurs - video

2010-12-17T03:07:00.000-05:00

J.R. Smith closed out the first quarter in style during Thursday night's battle between the Nuggets and Spurs. He delivered a high flying, death defying, tantalizing dunk on Gary Neal, and one.
Smith should be allowed to use this as his first qualifying dunk in this year's Slam Dunk contest.

Kobe & LeBron Laugh at a Backlash

2010-12-16T16:44:00.000-05:00

The NBA published the first returns of this season's All-Star balloting and two of the top three vote getters are the prime villains of modern basketball history - Kobe Bryant and LeBron James.

Kobe leads all players with 722,682 votes so far. He has more votes than the second and third place Western Conference guards combined (Chris Paul 386,649 and Manu Ginobili 230,137).

LeBron James is third among all vote getters with 607,994 votes. Despite reports that his popularity is slipping and that sports fans don't like him after "The Decision", LeBron has over 100,000 more votes than nice guy Kevin Durant, as well as Knick Amar'e Stoudemire and dunk phenom Blake Griffin.

Kobe once made a commercial about being hated. LeBron has been openly hated on by some basketball fans, the media and even retired greats like Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. Yet the votes keep piling in. I guess it's like Kobe said: "Hate me with all your heart, and hate that I'm loved for the exact same reasons."

Mike Vick, Dogs and PETA

2010-12-16T15:07:00.012-05:00

Mike Vick is letting the world know that he wants to get a pet dog for his kids to play with when his probation period is over. In 2007, the judge who sentenced Vick forbade him to own a dog until the completion of his probation sometime in 2012.

"I would love to have another dog," Vick said. "My entire life, I grew up with a pet in my house. The last few years were the first that I haven't had one. My daughter is used to it, my son is used to it. I feel bad for them and the entire situation, what I did. It could be part of my rehabilitation process showing people I do care about animals sincerely and genuinely."

PETA couldn't wait to use their Facebook page to blast the notion of the Eagles quarterback ever owning a pet again.

PETA posted, "The guy whose name has become synonymous with hanging, electrocuting, drowning, and shooting dogs and forcing them to rip each other to pieces in dogfighting rings is now bemoaning the fact that he can't have a canine companion. Color us confused."

The Humane Society embraced Mike Vick when he completed his prison sentence in 2009. They agreed to work with him in spreading the message that dogfighting is unspeakably cruel and horribly wrong. Vick has spoken out against animal cruelty at fourteen public events to date. He's appeared in several cities including Philadelphia and Baltimore as well as non-NFL cities like Durham, NC and New Haven, CT.

I admit that I was disappointed when the Humane Society chose to work with Vick. I thought he was using them to rehab his image and regain endorsements.

I consider Vick's crimes against dogs to be worthy of the death penalty. I have no tolerance for animals being used, let alone dying, for the sake of human entertainment. I root for the bull to kill the matador in every bullfight.

Yet American society and Vick's judge felt that Vick's fair sentence should be a couple years in prison. He served his time and now he's out earning and living and raising his kids as a married man.

While PETA and the majority of their drones spent their mornings antagonizing Vick instead of promoting animal kindness, Wayne Pacelle, the president and CEO of the Humane Society published a letter examining a deeper level of thought concerning Michael Vick as a man and future pet owner.

"I don't believe (Vick) should be forever banned from adopting a dog," Pacelle wrote. He also mentions that Vick has been undergoing weekly psychological counseling for the last 18 months in addition to performing his work in communicating the horrors of animal cruelty.

Pacelle believes that it's too soon for Vick to own a pet now. Yet he sees how pet ownership would be good for Vick, his family and the dogs they adopt.

Color the Humane Society compassionate.

Vick's future pet poodles, beagles and chihuahuas will likely be some of the most spoiled dogs in the history of pets. With his millions, Vick can afford to feed them T-bone steaks for breakfast, prime rib for lunch and filet mignon for dinner.

His kids will lavish their pets with love after having been deprived of dogs for years by the judicial system and their dad's crimes. The lucky dogs will probably eat at the dinner table with the human Vicks and run freer than even a PETA person's pet.

PETA, some of their negative-minded followers, and even the Humane Society's own critics of President Pacelle should keep their energy focused on ending dogfighting & bullfighting, eliminating animal shows and circuses, and shutting down the factory farm system's continued animal abuse savagery. Ranting against Vick owning a pet dog is putting a negative focus on a situation where healing of a hardened heart is taking place.

Many animal shelters are jammed with dogs that their owners can no longer afford to care for due to the deep economic recession. If Vick adopted five of those dogs and welcomed them into his loving family while giving them the run of his land, there would be win-win situations for all involved.

A side note on PETA:

PETA's newest pro athlete spokesman is Chad Ochocinco who has joined their "Ink, Not Mink", anti- fur campaign.

Ochocinco regularly tweets about his love of McDonald's food. He even spent a day in 2010 working at a McDonald's and tweeted the following after the experience: "Thank you MCDONALDS for making one of my childhood dreams come true, not only do i eat it now i am a part of the GOLDEN ARCH".

In 2010, Ochocinco promoted the McDonald's Mac Snack Wrap, which is made with beef. In July of 2010, Ochocinco discussed his preference for McDonald's on the Wendy Williams Show.

PETA has an active anti-McDonald's campaign called McCruelty where they protest the fast food chain's outdated and inhumane methods for slaughtering chickens. PETA encourages people to boycott and demonstrate against McDonald's.

So while condemning Vick's chances of raising a pet dog with his kids, PETA is using Ochocinco in ads despite his dedication and devotion to McDonald's, a corporation they rail against. Either PETA didn't do their research, or they pick & choose who to condemn and who to throw passes.

Joakim Noah to Have Thumb Surgery

2010-12-16T02:54:00.000-05:00

Joakim Noah scored 11 points and grabbed 11 rebounds in a 110-93 Bulls blowout over the Raptors on Wednesday night. He entered the game knowing he was on his way to the disabled list due to a torn ligament in his right thumb. He'll have surgery Thursday morning and will be sidelined until after the All-Star break in late February or early March.

"It's sucks," Noah said. It's not what I want but I have to get back to playing at a high level."

Noah originally injured his thumb Nov. 27 against Sacramento. The injury was aggravated after a hard hit against the Rockets on Dec. 4. He played with tape for the next few games and used a brace against the Raptors. He's also been playing with sprained right index and middle fingers, but those injuries won't require surgery.

"It's hurting," Noah said. "I have to take anti-inflammatories every time I play. I can't practice. I have to get right and get back to this team."

Noah's teammates have ben impressed by his toughness while battling through injuries.

"He hasn't said a word about it all year," Kyle Korver said. "We've all seen the wrap on his hand. You look at it and it's swollen. You ask how it is and he just says it's fine."

"We knew (about the upcoming surgery) a few days ago but he wanted to play tonight and he did a great job," Carlos Boozer said. "He's a warrior. I say we take our hats off to him for playing through the pain he's had for the last two or three weeks. We wish him a speedy recovery to get back because we're going to need him down the stretch."

"I'm gonna miss playing with the guys," Noah said. "It's frustrating because I feel like we have a chance to be really, really good, and I've never been in a situation where we're winning like this. But I know in the long run this is what needs to be done."

Noah is currently fifth in the NBA in rebounds with 11.7 per game. He's tied for sixth in double-doubles with 14. He may have been on course for his first All-Star game. He's the Bulls' glue guy and energy leader and is a big part of why they are currently third in the Eastern Conference.

Noah bounced back well from plantar fasciitis last spring. He's to another strong recovery as the Bulls build toward the playoffs after the All-Star break.

Amar'e Dunks On Celtics Erden, Electrifies MSG - video

2010-12-16T01:31:00.002-05:00

Amar'e Stoudemire rocked the rim at Madison Square Garden with a devastating dunk on Celtic center Semih Erden. The jam came off a smooth pick and roll with Knick point guard Raymond Felton. The play's execution may have made coach Mike D'Antoni forget about Steve Nash for good.
Erden did his best Chris Bosh imitation and tried to escape the poster, but to no avail. Better to put a hand up and get dunked on than recoil and run away. Erden, fail.
Stoudemire scored 39 points and extended his franchise record of consecutive of 30+ games to nine. The Knicks lost when Amar'e sank a three point shot 0.1 of a second too late. The loss snaps the Knicks winning streak at eight, their longest such streak since 1994.

Moral victories don't mean much, but this game is a sign that basketball is back in a big way in New York City. Amar'e is playing better than any Knick since young Patrick Ewing and maybe even since Bernard King in the '80s. He's tied for the league lead in dunks with 53. He's third in the league in scoring (26.2 ppg), eighth in blocks (1.96 bpg) and tenth in double-doubles (12).
The Miami Heat are up next. The Garden will be rocking in anticipation. Hopefully Amar'e will wreak thunder on Chris Bosh and the Knicks will stop the Heat's winning streak at ten.

Lakers Dump Sasha Vujacic, NJ Gets Maria Sharapova

2010-12-15T03:57:00.001-05:00

The basketball gods have had enough of Sasha Vujacic's good luck streak. The 6'7" two-time champ Slovenian has been traded from the Lakers to the New Jersey Nets. Despite being best Italian-speaking buds with Kobe Bryant, the Lakers dumped Vujacic and his $5.5 milion expiring contract for journeyman Terp, Joe Smith.

Vujacic's run as a repeat champion is over. The Lakers have barely had any use for him since the arrival of Matt Barnes this season. Barnes, also 6'7", is better on both ends of the court and consistently plays harder than Vujacic. Yet the Slovenian will make almost $4 million more than Barnes this year despite playing less minutes than any other Laker. He also makes almost $2 million more than Laker legend and starter Derek Fisher.

The Lakers don't need an overpaid and fading Europuff whose only show of toughness has been his non-skirmish with fellow Slovenian, Goran Dragic. What impact will the trade have on Vujacic? How will he transition from basketball heaven (Los Angeles) to hoops hell (Newark)?

Vujacic's last day with the Lakers was spent celebrating their championship with President Barack Obama . Perhaps Vujacic had an idea he was about to be dealt as he stood near the embattled president. Maybe he secretly identified with a guy who's own team (Democrats) were turning on him the way the Lakers were distancing themselves from Vujacic.

Vujacic's fiancée is tennis player Maria Sharapova. Unlike Laker wives Vanessa Bryant and Khloe Kardashian, Sharapova built a substantial career on her own before linking with a Laker. Her $13.6 million career earnings are on par with Vujacic's $14 million as of last summer. Yet as her own career fades, she must have enjoyed living in the limelight with a champ like Vujacic, no matter how small his role on the Lakers. Those days are over.

It's likely Sharapova and Vujacic are feeling denial and anger over his banishment to Newark to join the 6-19 Nets.

The transition from sunny Cali to the tough cold bitter winter months of Newark may be even more brutal than the long losing streaks Sasha will endure with the Nets.

Fortunately, potassium helps geographic and emotional adjustments. Sharapova's love of bananas will serve her well in her transition.

Vujacic will join ex-Laker teammate Jordan Farmar with the Nets. Together, they have more NBA rings (4) than the entire Miami Heat roster combined (3- Wade, Haslem, House). The Nets are like the Eastern Lakers. Imagine how dominant they could be if they add another ex-Laker and man without a team, Adam Morrison.

OK, not that dominant. But at least they'd all have each other.

The biggest winner of all will be New Jersey. Not the Nets, but the people of New Jersey. Between majority owner and bachelor Mikhail Prokhorov's babes, part owner Jay-Z's wife Beyonce, Kim Kardashian (currently dating Nets forward Kris Humphries), and now Maria Sharapova, the fine female factor in New Jersey stays on the rise.

Maybe Snooki should link up with Brooke Lopez before her fifteen minutes are up.

Obama With The Lakers

2010-12-14T13:19:00.000-05:00

Barack Obama celebrated the Los Angeles Lakers' 2010 championship with Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest and company on Monday. The president would probably rather be celebrating with Joakim Noah, Derrick Rose and his beloved Chicago Bulls, but that day will come some time during then next six years of his presidency.

Obama: Did you know John McCain is even shorter than Nate Robinson?

Kobe: I guess that's why you put those vicious dunks on him in '08.

Obama: Now I'm battling this Republican goon John Boehner.

Kobe: I thought it was Boner?

Obama: Haha- good one KB. Yeah that fool wants us to play golf but I was thinking a boxing match would be better.

Kobe: The way dude cries all the time, you know he can't fight.

Obama: Hey Kobe, we're about to play some ball at the White House court. You're my first pick.

Kobe: What about your boy Reggie Love?

Obama: Between you and me, Reggie's a ball hog.

Kobe: Oh it's like that? I'll tell you what; I'll play on your squad if you bump Hillary and make me Secretary of State.

Obama: What about vice president?

Kobe: Nah that's too much like what I did with Shaq and I don't want to have to run you out of town like I did him.

Obama: It's a deal, Secretary of State Bryant.

Obama: Ron, you're giving away a big part of your salary to charities for the mentally ill in America. How are you able to afford it?

Artest: The new tax cuts for the rich, Mr. President.

Obama: Ha! You're a funny guy, Ron. I thought it was because you're crazy.

Artest: Yeah, that too.

Obama: Phil, why are you in favor of racial profiling in Arizona?

Phil: Wait, what country were you born in? Can ya answer that? Can ya? Can ya?

Obama: America, Phil.

Phil: Prove it!

Obama: Why couldn't Doc Rivers be here right now?

Jets Coach Trips Dolphin - video

2010-12-13T08:20:00.000-05:00

Sal Alosi, the strength and conditioning coach of the New York Jets, is the new poster boy of the idiotic culture of chaos coach Rex Ryan has instilled in his team. From Ryan's preseason show that offended Tony Dungy's Christian ears to the harassment of Ines Sainz to Braylon Edwards' drunk driving arrest, the Jets have prided themselves in being a wild lawless bunch of roughnecks who brag before wins & count Super Bowls before even making the playoffs.

Yesterday, as Miami's Nolan Carroll ran downfield on punt coverage, Alosi stuck his knee out to trip the Dolphin Cornerback. Carroll was slightly injured on the play but returned to action later in the game.

Alosi, 33, has been coaching in the NFL for nine years, eight with the Jets. He admitted tripping Carroll after the game.

"I made a mistake that showed a total lapse in judgment," said Alosi. "My conduct was inexcusable and unsportsmanlike and does not reflect what this organization stands for."

Actually, his conduct does reflect what the Jets stand for this season. Rex Ryan's overrated Jets are just a bunch of boors, brats and cheats who haven't scored a touchdown in weeks.

Amar'e Stoudemire's Hanukkah High

2010-12-08T10:32:00.000-05:00

Amar'e Stoudemire is currently playing the best basketball of his NBA career, including his first ever streak of five straight 31+ point games. The last three of those games, all Knick wins, were played during Hanukkah, the Jewish Festival of Lights. Amar'e has averaged 33 ppg, 10.3 rpg and 1.6 spg during the first 6 nights of Hanukkah. He was named NBA Player of the Week on December 6.

Last off-season, Amar'e discovered that his mother is part Jewish. He visited Israel to learn more about his Hebrew heritage. Perhaps his newfound connection to the Star of David is inspiring Amar'e to play his best basketball during Hanukkah.

Fellow Jew Jordan Farmar of the Nets had career highs in points (28) and assists (9) on December 1, the first night of Hanukkah. He followed that with three straight 16 point games and is now riding the most prolific scoring streak in his NBA career. Farmar also earned his first career double double on the third night of Hanukkah with 16 points and 10 assists against the Bobcats.

Unfortunately, Omri Casspi from Israel hasn't achieved any career greatness for the Sacramento Kings during Hanukkah this year. Maybe Yahweh is waiting for him to leave the anti-Jewish fans of Sacramento before blessing him with any basketball highs during Hanukkah.

Amar'e faces the Toronto Raptors in New York tonight, the last night of the Festival of Lights. He already put 31 points and 16 rebounds on the Raptors in Canada on the fifth night of Hanukkah. Let's see if he's saved his festival best for New York, the most Jewish city in America.

Top 10 NBA Dunks of November

2010-12-04T11:14:00.000-05:00

Blake Griffin is exploding into his rookie year with dunks everywhere on anybody. Teammate Eric Gordon adds to the mix. Derrick Rose has some thunder. Russell Westbrook gets involved. There's even a Knick in the mix. Which dunk do you like the best?

Ochocinco 86es Fur

2010-12-04T01:12:00.000-05:00

Chad Ochocinco has joined PETA's "Ink, Not Mink" advertising campaign. He follows previous spokesmen Dennis Rodman, Amar'e Stoudemire and Gilbert Arenas in asking people to get more tattoos instead of wearing fur.

If only his fiancée, Evelyn Lozada of Basketball Wives, had joined him in the ad. How much more effective would it be to see the future Mrs. Ochocinco standing naked by her man on behalf of furry animals?

"I wanted to get involved with the campaign basically because I'm an avid animal lover," said Ochocinco. "I have pets of my own. I've had them since I was a little kid. Animals always want to pick you up, no matter what."

Well said, Ochocinco. Next time, bring your girlfriend to the shoot. The animals need all the help they can get.

LeBron Laughs Last at Cleveland Boobird Losers

2010-12-03T15:44:00.003-05:00

LeBron James entered Cleveland's Quicken Loans Arena to more boos than any athlete in any arena in American sports history. Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger allegedly raped a couple different young women and Mike Vick admitted to drowning and electrocuting dogs, and yet no city has been inspired to boo them as hard as Cleveland booed LeBron last night.

The original Cleveland Browns and their owner Art Modell have returned to their old city several times in the form of the Baltimore Ravens and yet they're never booed as loud and long as LeBron was booed. It sounded like everyone in the crowd had booboozelas left over from last summer's world cup.

Joakim Noah once said, "I don't know about Cleveland, man. There is nothing going on. It's bad, man. Cleveland sucks." He played in Cleveland the next day and the boos were a fraction of what LeBron endured.

Why would all these supposed Cleveland Cavalier basketball fans be so angry at the player that brought them to the NBA finals for the first time ever? How could the best player in franchise history, who also grew up just 40 miles away from the Cavs' arena, be more openly hated than any other player in sports history? Why rain more boos for a free agent leaving his team than for an two-time alleged rapist, a dog killer, an owner who gutted the city and an opponent who openly hated on the city?

LeBron started his night on the court with the motherlode of all money shots, a one man bukkake style chalk toss. Even though LeBron hater and former Cavs slayer Michael Jordan actually invented the chalk toss, Cleveland fans seem to think it was some private ritual that LeBron came up with to make them feel special.

Last night, LeBron blew chalk in their faces like a climax on a legion of losers. Imagine how many times ex-Browns owner Art Modell rewound LeBron's latest Cleveland chalk toss on his DVR while laughing himself to sleep.

Cavs owner Dan Gilbert is pictured above, in the blue dress shirt to the left. LeBron was probably telling his ex-Cavs teammates what a sorry bunch of suckers they are without him and Delonte West while conveniently bending over for Gilbert to kiss his ass. OK, maybe not the Delonte part.

Cavs fans raised signs like they were at a political convention. It looked like a tea party rally with so many white people mad at one black man for making moves. The signs were often incorrect.

For example, the sign saying LeBron is a prince in Wade's country is statistically wrong. LBJ leads the Heat in points, assists and steals per game. Wade is second in all three categories. Which one is the prince in that equation?

The sign that says LeBron left his talents in Cleveland is also wrong. Cleveland has no talent. Mo Williams hasn't found his talents since he cried about losing LeBron as a teammate. His scoring average is at its lowest since he joined the Cavs, 13.9 ppg. Antawn Jamison is having his worst season since his rookie year. I guess he left his talents in Washington.

To the loser who thinks, "Akron hates you, too, LeBron," that would also be wrong according to Akron's own LeBron James Grandmothers Club. So-called Cavs fans can't get it right.

How about "LeSit your LeUgly ass down you old LeBowl-haircut having hater. And learn how to LeSpell." It's t-r-a-i-t-o-r, fool.

Wait, isn't that one of Tiger's babes? Not the model one, but the one who worked at the diner? I'm pretty sure that's her. She needs to quit the hair dresser who coiffed that cheap stringy mess, looking like fried jellyfish.

LeBron: What should I do? Should I kick this little loudmouth guido's ass for trying to step to me while I'm at work? Witness this asswhippin', Cleveland."

Some of these Cavs fans would do us all favors if they just shredded themselves into oblivion. Maybe they'd come back as real sports fans in a better city like Detroit or even Oakland.

In all these photos, it's hard to find anyone wearing a Cavs jersey or Cavs colors. What kind of fans are they if instead of supporting their team, they only show up ready to hate someone who left? Not even Philadelphia Eagles fans have hatred on that level.

LeBron laughs last. He laughs at me and anyone else who hoped he'd stay in Cleveland. I wanted him to stay there because I thought he was a loser who belonged there. I was wrong. LeBron is doing what it takes to be a winner. It's the Cavs boobirds who are losers.

6 Wishes for LeBron James' Return To Cleveland

2010-12-02T11:56:00.000-05:00

The night Cleveland has waited five months for is here. They get to face LeBron James on their own turf in the wasteland. When James and his Miami Heat appear on the court, they will somehow be bigger villains than the Baltimore Ravens who used to be Cleveland's own Browns. But if the original Browns left a city that claimed to be so into the their football team, and LeBron left a basketball team based so close to his hometown of Akron, maybe Joakim Noah was right. What's so good about Cleveland?

Most of us couldn't care less about Cleveland. Yet LeBron James, a slightly overrated two-time MVP, has captured our attention as he goes back to play the franchise that he jilted by choosing to leave. Who wouldn't leave a cold miserable place like Cleveland to play and live in Miami? Who wouldn't want to play for a winner like Pat Riley instead of a jerk like Cavs' owner Dan Gilbert?

Tonight, it's all about what happens after James takes the court for his warm ups all the way until he leaves after the last buzzer. Here are my six wishes for #6 LeBron James' night in Cleveland.

Anderson Varejao gets the first ever pre-game flagrant foul when he elbows LeBron to the ground at the scorers table so he can excite Cleveland fans into an even more feverish frenzy with a chalk toss of his own.

LeBron recovers from Varejao's elbow and sets a career high in turnovers while scoring 23 points (for MJ and LBJ's old number). Midway through the first quarter, James rocks an unguarded, solo fast break, rim wrecking, 360 tomahawk dunk that brings out more hate and louder boos than if Osama Bin Ladin walked on the court.

Eddie House gets ejected in the second quarter for excessive trash talking with outraged Cavs fans. He leaves the game with zero points, featuring two airballs from three point land. Someone throws a full cup of beer at him before he exits the court which accidentally lands on Cavs' owner Dan Gilbert.

Cavs forward Jamario Moon burns past LeBron James, spins into the lane and destroys Chris Bosh's weak help defense with a devastating monster dunk of doom, and-one. Moon converts the free throw and Bosh goes to the bench with his fourth foul. Bosh finishes the night 2-11 with 5 rebounds while Varejao gets a double double against him.

Heat forward Juwan Howard body slams Cleveland super fan Nate Mallett to the ground when the drunk Ohio nut rushes the court to attack LeBron. Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison offers to pay any fine David Stern levies against Howard.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas cries during pre-game announcements when Cavs fans stop booing LeBron long enough to cheer their appreciation for Z's time in Cleveland. The Lithuanian has a relatively quiet game because his eyes well up every time he touches the ball and hears Cleveland fans cheering for him.

Z saves the best for last when he tips in a last second LeBron James miss, giving the Heat a one point win over the Cavs, 90-89. Afterward, Z is an emotional blubbering mess in the locker room, profusely apologizing to the city of Cleveland while Chris Bosh massages his shoulders and tells him that Miami loves him too.

I want the Cavs to lose because the league is more fun when more teams play a role. Cleveland has little chance of threatening for a title any time soon and there's nothing interesting about their roster beyond the hustle of Varejao. Since Clevelanders play the part of sad and angry losers so well, they should keep bringing those talents to the NBA culture. As long as they keep losing to LeBron's Heat, there will always be at least one game on the Cavs schedule that's interesting to the NBA community at large.

Derek Anderson Meets A Media Moron - video

2010-11-30T10:21:00.002-05:00

Derek Anderson had every right to cut off the moronic questions by Kent Somers of the Arizona Republic during a post game press conference after the Arizona Cardinals were thrashed by the 49ers on Monday Night Football, 27-6.
During the game, Anderson was shown briefly laughing at something his teammate Deuce Lutui said on the sidelines during the second half of the blowout. Instead of focusing on what went wrong on the field, Somers went for the easy mark by making a controversy out of a small moment between two players.
Some media morons, like Doug Farrar of Yahoo, put the blame on Anderson for blowing up at Somers. They feel that a quarterback should never laugh during a loss nor lose his cool at a press conference.
Farrar and company should call out their media crony Somers instead. A reporter shouldn't create irrelevant stories by instigating a response with inflammatory questions. Even the usually judgmental crew at ESPN unilaterally said the questions were out of line.
Death and the loss of loved ones is far more important than the game of football. At every funeral I've been to, there has been at least one incident of laughter, either during the eulogy or from people greeting each other in attendance. Does that mean that the jokers and laughers thought the whole death and mourning process was funny? No.
Should teams tell their cheerleaders to stop dancing if their team is down by 20 points? Should there be no upbeat music played during the final minutes of blowouts? Should players be required to wear black to press conferences if they lose by more than 20 points?
Laughing at a comment made by someone during a tough loss might do more to boost morale than sitting stone faced. What if Anderson had turned to Lutui and yelled, "What are you joking about? This losing shit isn't funny man!" He'd be getting killed by Somers and Farrar for losing his cool in the face of adversity.
With dozens of cameras pointed at every small detail on the field, it's easy to spin stories that say Anderson isn't taking the game seriously just because of a two-second exchange with his teammate. Had their been so many cameras on the field during the '70s, we'd probably have shots of Archie Manning briefly laughing while his Saints were getting beaten again and again.
Anderson did well to speak his mind to Somers and walk away. I wouldn't blame him if he went Jim Everett on Somers for being a punk like Jill, I mean Jim Rome.

Michael Jordan Hates LeBron James - video

2010-11-26T15:42:00.011-05:00

(Editor's note: Mojo Hoops is aware that the Jordan ad is not authorized by Michael Jordan. Since MJ criticized LeBron's Decision, it's fun to have fun at his expense anyway.)

Michael Jordan has publicly joined the masses in hating on LeBron James with his latest Jumpman commercial. The same Michael Jordan who wouldn't speak up to help a black, Democratic, Senate candidate from North Carolina beat white racist encumbent Jesse Helms now has a voice. The same Jordan who stood by Tiger Woods for having 10+ mistresses now has an opinion on LeBron James just because he switched teams and made a commercial about public perceptions.

Maybe it felt so good to knock Kobe that Jordan wanted to take it further by attacking LeBron. Or maybe MJ was angry that James picked on his pudgy pal Charles Barkley's addiction to donuts.

What if Bill Russell had made a commercial in the '90s about how Jordan showed a lack of class and disrespect for the game of basketball with his rampant gambling and open disdain for Chicago Bulls' General Manager Jerry Krause? What if Coach John Wooden had made a commercial judging Jordan for cheating on his wife and how MJ's wandering johnson showed a fundamental lack of respect for himself and his wife? Fortunately, neither Russell nor Wooden would resort to a negative campaign to sell shoes or any other product.

Michael Jordan, the player, excited the world with his dedication to the game of basketball, his brilliance on the court, and his obsession with winning. Michael Jordan, the front office guy, has been a perpetual disappointment. He drafted two of the all-time biggest busts in Kwame Brown (2001) and Adam Morrison (2006). He's overseen one team to the playoffs (last year's Bobcats) and they were bounced in a first round sweep. This year, the Bobcats have dropped off to an unimpressive 5-10 start.

Perhaps Jordan's old nemesis Jerry Krause should make a commercial saying, "Maybe I led you to believe it was easy to draft underrated prospects like Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant. Maybe I allowed you to think that you were running the Bulls despite the fact that it was my idea to appoint Phil Jackson to his first NBA head coaching job and my idea to acquire Dennis Rodman. Maybe you don't know the first thing about putting together a championship caliber franchise. Maybe it's my fault. Or maybe you're just downplaying today's stars because you're a front office failure who players like Kobe, LeBron and Dwyane Wade have no interest in playing for."

Tony Parker & Eva Longoria Taiwanese Animation - video

2010-11-26T13:39:00.003-05:00

In case the Tony Parker, Eva Longoria, Brent & Erin Barry story didn't make sense in print, this Taiwanese animation may make it clearer. All salacious news stories should have accompanying videos like this.

How LeBron James Can Save Face

2010-11-26T01:44:00.002-05:00

LeBron James had a chance to be the dude everybody loved. Instead he chose to go play with the Miami Heat featuring Dwyane Wade and some sucker name Bitch Posh. It's not so bad that he chose to switch teams. It's how he did it, trying to be cute on smug, braincell killing interviews with Larry King and Jim Gray.

Between his sideline boogie, indulgent commercials and grabs for off-court media attention, it has seemed like LeBron will do anything to be noticed and liked. Anything except the one thing we all want to see him do.

What should LeBron James do to save face and slow the hate? Participate in this year's slam dunk contest.

LeBron is one of the most outstanding dunkers in NBA history. His combination of size and power lead to rim rocking climaxes with more consistent fury than anyone before him. Yet he continues to shrink away from the biggest stage for all dunkers - the Slam Dunk contest.

During the off-season of 2009, he said he'd definitely be in the contest at All-Star break 2010. Instead he dipped his toes in the pool and skipped away like a timid, squealing 8 year old weakling. We were left with Nate Robinson claiming his third title in a forgettable night of dunks.

Now is the time for LeBron to give back to the game which has made him a mega-millionaire by giving the fans what they want. Except it can't just be any slam dunk contest with guys like Birdman and Andre Iguodala. It's gotta be on some next level, everybody gotta watch, remember this night forever type competition.

LeBron should challenge Blake Griffin, Dwight Howard and Nate Robinson to a showdown in this year's Slam Dunk contest at Kobe's gym, the Staples Center.

Blake Griffin has been annihilating rims throughout his first month in the NBA. He dunks on people with zero remorse. He goes open court with it like a bigger, badder LeBron. And he always seems dazed afterward, like he's zoned out on dunk adrenaline. The rookie has crashed into the league with a vengeance. Who better to humble a wannabe king than Griffin? Or who better for a wannabe king to humble than a young buck like Blake?

And then there's Superman himself, Dwight Howard. We know LeBron won't be getting an MVP award this year. Deep down, Dwight must want it to be his year. What better way to chip away at the reigning MVP than to knock him down at the Slam Dunk contest? As for LeBron, beating Howard would give him a win over the last truly stunning dunker in the contest. Dwight's Superman Slam put him in the stratosphere with Michael Jordan and Vince Carter. If LeBron can outdo Superman, how could we not start to forgive him for "The Decision"?

Nate Robinson is the reigning champ and has won more Slam Dunk contests than any other player in NBA history. For LeBron to truly claim the crown, he must dethrone the champ. If Nate can beat Blake Griffin, Dwight Howard and LeBron James, he would be more than a novelty who won despite some suspect performances. He'd be the little guy who is the average man's hero. At 5'9", it's easier for us to want to be like Nate than giants like LeBron, Blake and Dwight. Nate's challenge is to be the all-time NBA David among the league's most powerful dunking Goliaths.

Commissioner David Stern likes to throw wrinkles into the Slam Dunk contest - like guys have to do dunks based on past contest dunks or guys have to catch passes from teammates. This year, he should make it simple. Let's pay tribute to the greatest dunker of the late 90s, the last great leaping 2-guard. Vince Carter. Every dunker in this year's Slam Dunk contest has to do one of the dunks Vince Carter did when he won the dunk crown in 2000.

The judges - Kobe (Staples Center host), Vince Carter (of course), Michael Jordan (so he can hate on everyone and get booed for it), Dikembe Mutombo (just because he's mad cool and makes bugged out faces off good dunks) and Kenny Smith (TNT factor).

Let's make it happen. Start petitions. Tell your friends. Hit LeBron, Blake, Dwight and Nate up on twitter. We want to *witness* the Super Slam Dunk Contest of all time! Blake Griffin. Dwight Howard. Nate Robinson. LeBron James.

Rick Fox & Eliza Dushku Serve Boston's Homeless

2010-11-25T13:22:00.000-05:00

While most Bostonians are celebrating Thanksgiving by cheering on the Patriots before their Thanksgiving feasts, ex-Celtic Rick Fox and his girlfriend, lifelong Celtics fan, Eliza Dushku will be serving meals to Boston's homeless and less fortunate. Delonte West was scheduled to join them but he may miss the opportunity do to the broken wrist he suffered last night against the Nets.

Fox might have lost on Dancing With The Stars, but it doesn't look like he's taking it too tough with Dushku making it all better.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Delonte West's Tough Breaks Keep Coming

2010-11-25T13:03:00.001-05:00

Delonte West suffered a compound fracture of his right wrist while going for a layup against the Nets. The Celtics' guard was playing his fifth game of the season after serving a ten game league suspension for pleading guilty to gun charges.

"It's broken for sure," said Celtics' coach Doc Rivers. "We don't know anything more than that. It's a compound fracture, most likely. It's going to be a long time, let's just put it that way."

"It's tough mentally to deal with injury," said Paul Pierce. "I can't imagine how he feels right now. I know he's frustrated because he's had a long road to getting back on the court, and for him to be sitting again, it's going to be tough on him. It's up to the players to keep him involved mentally, make him still feel like a part of the team. I think that's the most important things when guys get hurt."

"He must be so frustrated," Coach Rivers said. "I can't even imagine. I can't speak to it. It's like nothing I've ever gone through. It must be extremely frustrating."

"It's tragic for Delonte," said Celtics' GM Danny Ainge. "Basketball is a very important part of his life. I hate to see this happen. But Delonte will be able to return late in the season to help us."

Shaq: The Big Geezer Still Got Game

2010-11-25T12:02:00.000-05:00

Shaquille O'Neal is beasting in Boston. At 38, Shaq is the oldest player in the NBA. Yet last night against the Nets, he showed he's still capable of dominating opponents and taking over games. He had a game high 25 points while shooting 9-10 from the field. He led the Celtics with 11 rebounds in their 89-83 win over New Jersey.

"(My teammates) were very unselfish," Shaq said. "I go to the hole and got a lot of easy baskets. That's kind of how I want to play at 38."

Shaq's 25 points were his highest since the 2008-09 season when he was with the Phoenix Suns. He also shot 5-8 from the line in the fourth quarter when the Nets resorted to Hack-a-Shaq in desperation.

Shaq had his first double double of the season two nights earlier in a 99-76 blowout of the Hawks. In that game, he had 13 points and 11 rebounds while battling rising stars Al Horford and Josh Smith in the paint.

"I told him he looked like the 2000 Shaq," said Kevin Garnett. "The 1999 Shaq, the 2001 and 2002 to 2003 to 2004 to 2005 to 2006."

Shaq loves playing with Garnett and said as much when asked about their relationship on the court.

"I've played on a lot of other teams where the other team didn't have to respect the four (power forward). So being that they have to respect him means that there's a lot more room for me. It also means there's a lot more room for him, so we're going to use each other. I think it's a good fit."

Garnett feels the same about Shaq and said so in his own way.

"Shaq is like a paradise, man," said Garnett. You ever wash your sheets and then when you go out, you hang them out and when the sun dries the, you smell your sheets? That's what Shaq is."

The Big Shamrock, the Big Geezer, the Big Clean Sheets. Shaq is rolling in Boston.

LeBron James - No Mojo

2010-11-23T18:03:00.001-05:00

Haslem, Heat's Heart, Out Indefinitely

2010-11-22T13:07:00.002-05:00

Miami Heat back up power forward Udonis Haslem has a torn ligament in his left foot and will likely be out until the All-Star break at the earliest. He was injured in the Heat's loss to the Memphis Grizzlies on Friday night. Haslem's absence may further expose the Heat's biggest weaknesses: team rebounding, toughness and leadership.

Co-captains Haslem and Dwyane Wade are the Heat's only players with rings. Haslem turned down more money from other teams to re-sign with the Heat last summer. After the team voted him captain in October, Haslem gave them an emotional speech asking them to play every game this season for his mother, Debra Haslem, who died of cancer last July. Despite LeBron James' posturing and MVP status, Haslem is the true leader of the Miami Heat.

"It's huge," said James about Haslem's injury. "He's like our heart of our team. He's our power. He's our pride. He brings everything every night. Size never really matters to him. He always plays above his height, plays above his weight."

Haslem leads the Heat in rebounding with 8.2 per game. Chris Bosh is second with 6.8 despite averaging seven more minutes than Haslem each night. Haslem is 23rd in the NBA with 14.8 rebounds per 48 minutes. Bosh is 71st with 10 per game. Haslem has four double-doubles this season while Bosh has only managed three.

The Heat are currently 19th in the NBA in team rebounding at 40.46 per game. Haslem's high energy hustle and defensive toughness made Bosh's life easier and afforded him the luxury of extra bench time and less responsibility in the paint. Will Bosh will come clean from his Miami haze to do more than ride the backs of James and Wade? 37-year-old Juwan Howard will see more action to try to do some of Haslem's dirty work but he hasn't averaged more than five rpg since the 2007 season.

The Heat are currently tied with the Atlanta Hawks for the tenth best record in the NBA and fourth best in the Eastern Conference. The loss of Haslem combined with the injury of Mike Miller and Bosh leaving his rebounding talents behind in Toronto make it even less likely that Miami will win the East this spring. A team that some labelled a dynasty before their first game together may struggle to get to the second round if they can't find a way to get out of fifth place in the conference. The road will be much tougher until Haslem returns to the lineup.

Richard Seymour Bitch Slaps Ben Roethlisberger - video

2010-11-21T22:00:00.003-05:00

Richard Seymour heard enough of Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger's mouth on Sunday, so he bitch slapped the alleged rapist down to the ground. Roethlisberger's private goons did a better job fending off his alleged rape victim's friends at that Georgia bar than his offensive line did of protecting him from the Raider's wrath.

LeGarrette Blount, eat your heart out. Last year, while playing for Oregon, Blount was provoked to strike trash-talking Byron Hout of Boise St.. Despite Seymour's larger size, Blount's blow was more effective than the hit on Roethlisberger. Like Pacquiao, Blount placed his punch on the sweetest spot for the most damage.

But Blount went ballistic after he sucker punched Hout, which took attention away from the brash Boise St. braggart. Instead, many people focused on Blount's lack of control and he was suspended by his own school. Boise St. gave no punishment to their cocky loudmouth, Hout.

Once Roethlisberger was silenced, Richard Seymour calmly left the field after his ejection. No further aggressive actions whatsoever. His composed exit demeanor revealed a calm man who may be provoked into physically muting blowhards, but is an otherwise laid back guy.

Seymour has been accused of playing dirty before, but he doesn't have a reputation for allegedly raping women with the help of hired goons in two different states like Ben Roethlisberger. If your sister was going to a bar, who would you rather her hang out with- the accused rapist or the guy who punches accused rapists in the face?

After the game, Seymour said, "I apologize to my teammates. I never want to do anything to hurt the team. You always want to protect yourself, but there's no excuse. I'm not sure exactly what happened on the play. I just turned around and (Roethlisberger) just ran up on me quick and it was just a natural reaction."

Seymour offered no apology to Roethlisberger. The absence of apology to the cocksure accused rapist he'd just bitch slapped to the ground may mean that Big Ben is an even more obnoxious and punch deserving sucker than previous reports have implied.

Roethlisberger escaped the maximum punishment he was due from Seymour, just like he did in Georgia and with the NFL. He managed to recover from Seymour's hit and stay in the game with no broken jaw and no chipped teeth.

Here's to Richard Seymour for taking a more aggressive approach with Roethlisberger than the Georgia police seemed willing to do. Seymour already missed more than half the game after his ejection. Hopefully the NFL gives credit for time served and the Raider will avoid suspension.

Blake Griffin Dunks On Knicks, Amar'e Shows Respect - video

2010-11-21T02:19:00.000-05:00

Blake Griffin continued his dunking dominance Saturday night against the Knicks. His latest monster slam was so nasty that Amar'e Stoudemire gave the rookie a nod during the next dead ball situation.

Griffin finished the game with career highs at 44 points and 7 assists. He also grabbed 15 rebounds. Stoudemire scored 39 points, his most as a Knick, and grabbed 11 boards.

The Knicks won 124-115 and finished their Western road trip with a three game winning streak. The Clippers have lost 9 straight.

If NBA commissioner David Stern insists on contracting a franchise, the 1-13 Clippers must be tops on the list.

Delonte Is Back!

2010-11-19T18:54:00.000-05:00

Beneath the noise of Tony Parker divorcemania, Delonte West returned to the Boston Celtics after serving a ten game suspension for pleading guilty to gun possession in Maryland. In a 114-83 blowout of the Wizards, West had 12 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 1 steal and 1 block in twenty-one minutes of action. He had more points, assists and blocks than any other player off the Celtics' bench. Delonte came ready to feast and he beasted.

Welcome back, Delonte!

Ben Wallace, Esquire

2010-11-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

Ben Wallace plans to become a defense attorney when he retires from basketball. There may be no better occupational choice for a four-time Defensive Player of the Year.

"That's my ultimate goal," Big Ben said. "I think I can argue a pretty good case. I think I can convince people to see things my way. I'm very serious about it. Very."

The Pistons' center earned a degree in criminal justice from Virginia Union University, loves watching Court TV and has already found lawyers in his home town of Richmond, Va to serve as mentors along the way.

Wallace will be following in the footsteps of retired NFL player, Alan Page. The ex-Viking defensive tackle became a lawyer when his football career ended and he's now a judge on the Minnesota Supreme Court. As a player, Page was a two time Defensive Player of the Year. In 1971, he became the first defensive player to be named the NFL's MVP. He really was the Ben Wallace of football in the early '70s.

Wallace is the starting center for the Pistons this year but he's only averaging 24.1 minutes a night. Even so, he's tenth in rebounding per 48 minutes with 15.8. He might not have the gas to run all night, but when he's on the court, he's still a beast.

Hard work and dedication made Wallace one of the best Division II players in NBA history. That same work ethic will pay off in his legal aspirations. If I ever get in trouble with the cops in Virginia, I'm calling Big Ben, Esquire.

Tony Parker Double Double with Brent Barry's Wife

2010-11-17T18:52:00.003-05:00

Tony Parker was allegedly cheating on his wife, Eva Longoria, with his former Spurs teammate Brent Barry's wife, Erin (pictured above). That's next level cold, man. Bedding your teammate's woman is almost like doing your brother's lady, especially when you've won two rings together in San Antonio. But I guess it isn't as bad as if it was Brent Barry's mom.

So the only white NBA Slam Dunk champion just got dogged by the only European born NBA Finals MVP. Advantage, France. Now the Parkers and the Barrys are all getting divorced. Can't San Antonio just get along? They all should just go on Wife Swap.

Erin Barry looks good and maybe Tony couldn't help it. I guess she's a safer option than Tim Duncan's wife, Amy. If Parker had gone for her, Greg Popovich would've had him traded to the Nets for back up point guard Jordan Farmar in a heartbeat. If he'd have tried Bruce Bowen's wife, Yardley, Bowen would've kneed Parker's nuts up into his stomach.

The Spurs are off to their best start in years. At 8-1, they're tied with the New Orleans Hornets for the best overall record in the NBA. A team that almost never has distractions now faces a giant one, just in time for a nationally televised game on ESPN tonight.

Eva Longoria Dumps Tony Parker

2010-11-17T15:25:00.006-05:00

Eva Longoria Parker, the face of San Antonio Spurs fans, is leaving Tony Parker after discovering text messages on his phone revealing an affair between him and Erin Barry. Erin is the wife of ex-Spurs player Brent Barry. Their split comes just two weeks after the point guard signed a $50 million, four year extension with the Spurs.

Life always seemed so good with the Parkers. Eva, a glamourous Tejano Hollywood hottie fiending for a young Frenchman named Tony. Not Jacques or Yves. Tony Parker Jr., the son of an African-American basketball playing father and a Dutch model.

Longoria never seemed like a Kardashian clone using sports and celebrity to extend her decreasing minutes of fame. She'd already established herself as an actress with a bright future when she met Parker. She also never seemed like Posh Spice marrying the sports stud from her country. If she wanted that, she could've snagged Kobe.

Instead, Longoria went for a dude who was a decent player, but not the Man, on her favorite team in small market San Antonio. A team that got lower than average television ratings because of their methodical style of play and lack of flair. Longoria wasn't there for the glam. She was there for the game.

Parker won three championships in San Antonio and was the Finals MVP in 2007. Eva showed him so much juice on the court after the Spurs beat the Cavs in Cleveland that he probably earned platinum status in the Mile High Club on the flight home. They were all love, from Hollywood to Texas to France.

Now, Longoria has followed her heart's desire to snoop through Parker's phone. Bingo. Parker's busted. If Cleveland fans burned LeBron James jerseys, what will Eva do to Tony's? Hopefully she doesn't go full Left Eye and burn their house down.

What if she pulls a Joumana Kidd and heckles Parker from court side tonight when the Spurs host the Bulls tonight on ESPN?

"You French piece of merde! How dare you sext my friend like some oui oui Brett Favre. What else were you doing with her, French fry? Watch me snatch up Tiago Splitter and Dejuan Blair at the same damn time, bitch!"

The Parkers had a prenuptial agreement that was amended in 2009. Due to Tony's alleged infidelity, Eva will likely be entitled to a chunk of the $33 million he's made on the court since they were married in 2007. She may also get some of the future funds from his new contract extension. It all depends on the prenup. He won't lose Tiger Woods style money, but $millions are $millions and parting with it probably ain't easy.

I love watching the Spurs' style of basketball but I'll miss the occasionally eye candy of Eva Longoria smiling in the crowd, cheering for her team and her man. Maybe when the Spurs trade Parker to the Knicks for Raymond Felton and a draft pick, she'll start attending games again.

Or maybe she should hook up with Steve Nash?

Devin Harris Tackles Blake Griffin - video

2010-11-16T18:32:00.001-05:00

Nets guard Devin Harris tackled Clippers forward Blake Griffin last night in Los Angeles. The refs ruled the play a flagrant 2 foul and Harris was immediately ejected with 6:42 left in the second quarter.

He should've just been called for interference and the Clippers should've gotten the ball at the 2, first and goal to go. I guess it's part of David Stern's collaboration with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to crack down on "unnecessary" contact.

This is just good, hard, physical basketball. Blake Griffin's official rookie welcome to the NBA. As for Devin Harris, no suspension is necessary. He already missed more than half the game after being ejected. The Nets won without him anyway, 110-96. The Clippers are now 1-10.

The whole Clippers franchise should be given a two game suspension for continuing to be horrible year after year. They make the league look worse than the Malice at the Palace and Tim Donaghy combined.

Besides, a full-franchise suspension would be a good test for contracting them next season. The NBA would survive and the city of Los Angeles probably wouldn't even notice. Doesn't LA already have enough basketball with the Lakers?

Brittney Griner Is Back

2010-11-16T11:45:00.001-05:00

ESPN is blessing us with 24 uninterrupted hours of college basketball today. Schools like Louisville and Kansas St. are among those in action. Michigan St. coach Tom Izzo will also be featured in a game against South Carolina as he continues celebrating his decision not to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers.

At 6 pm eastern, I'm ditching the men's action to watch ESPN2's clash between the top two ranked teams in college women's basketball. Brittney Griner leads Baylor to Connecticut to battle Maya Moore's Huskies who are riding a 79 game winning streak. At 6'8", Griner is the most awe inspiring dominant player in women's basketball. She dunks in games and is capable of a points-rebounds-blocks triple-double on any given night.

Baylor's last loss was to UConn in last year's NCAA tournament. Tina Charles battled the 6'8" Griner for the Huskies last year, but she's now in the WNBA. Tonight, 6'5" freshman Stefanie Dolson will try to contain the Baylor center.

Here's to Griner getting a triple double, 2 dunks and a streak-busting win over UConn and Geno Auriemma this evening.

Steve Nash Shows Tiger and Flash how to Divorce

2010-11-14T10:08:00.001-05:00

Steve Nash should write a book on quiet, clean divorces. The Suns' guard put up season highs in points (28) and rebounds (7) and had 14 assists on the day he revealed he was splitting up with his wife, Alejandra. Why would the couple separate while she was pregnant with their third child? Another woman? Another father? Who knows?

Nash released a simple statement that opened and closed the discussion on his family's situation. He acknowledged that he and Alejandra have lived apart for months and said he'd have no further comment on their marriage and divorce.

Nash avoided the Tiger Woods style car crash and subsequent skills burn. At 83%, Nash's free throw percentage this season has dropped considerably below his 90% career average. Perhaps that shows a small sign of Tiger Woods-itis. Yet his 51% FG is 6th among NBA guards and he's shooting 42% from downtown.

Nash also appears to have avoided the Dwyane Wade type of acrimonious divorce with heinous accusations and child custody wars. It's a credit to both he and Alejandra that they've kept their separation quiet. Had it not been for the birth of their son drawing attention to them, they may have been able to split up and keep it a secret until the paperwork was processed.

Nash has made $55 million with the Suns, not to mention millions more in endorsements, since he married Alejandra Amarilla in 2005. Depending on his prenup setup, she may lift more than half of that load from his bank account. Both will survive the divorce in style.

Maybe Nash should go the Andre Agassi & Steffi Graf route and hook up with Phoenix Mercury basketball goddess Diana Taurasi. Imagine the basketball skills of their babies.

99 Problems & Chris Bosh is One

2010-11-12T15:31:00.006-05:00

The Miami Heat have a problem that could take years to fix. They've overpaid for overrated Chris Bosh. The ex-Toronto Raptors forward, who's never won a playoff series, is coming up short as a member of Miami's so-called Big Three. Bosh's weaknesses have forced Dwyane Wade and LeBron James to shoulder a heavier burden than they signed up for and that's contributing to the slow start of the Heat.

The biggest weakness in Bosh's game is his lack of heart. In Thursday's loss to the Boston Celtics, Bosh watched in awe as Rajon Rondo elevated and rocked the rim in his face. He didn't even put up a hand to disrupt Rondo, let alone give him a hard foul. Rondo shoots 52% free throws and everyone in the league knows it. Even so, Bosh let him waltz through the lane uncontested and untouched.

Bosh's heart failure leads to soft and ineffective defense. Tuesday night, Utah Jazz forward Paul Milsap destroyed Bosh for a career high 46 points on the way to giving the Heat their first home loss of the season. Bosh managed a quiet 17 points in 41 minutes of action.

During the Heat's second loss to Boston, Bosh was repeatedly pump faked in the air by Kevin Garnett who burned him for 16 points on 6-8 shooting. Garnett also outrebounded Bosh 13-7.

In the Heat's loss to the New Orleans Hornets, Bosh had one rebound in 34 minutes. One. Every other big man who played in the game, including Hornets' reserve D.J. Mbenga, managed at least two rebounds. Even the Heat's 6'1" three-point specialist Eddie House grabbed two boards in just 18 minutes.

Over the summer, some basketball reporters and fans suggested that the Heat would break the '96 Bulls' record 72 win season. That appears unlikely, so now the same hype-meisters have backpedalled into the excuse that the Heat will need time to develop chemsitry. That might explain Bosh's drop off in scoring, but rebounding and defense are about effort and desire and Bosh is lacking in both.

Amar'e Stoudemire is learning to work with new teammates in New York and yet he's outrebounding Bosh by two full rebounds, 8.0 per game to 6.0. He's also besting Bosh in blocked shots, 1.8 to 1.2 per game.

David Lee has an impressive 11.3 rebounds with his new Golden State Warrior teammates. That's almost double Bosh's numbers. Lee also edges Bosh in steals per game, 1.1 to 0.7.

Even Jazz newcomer Al Jefferson is crushing Bosh on the boards. Jefferson is averaging 9.3 rpg and adding 1.4 bpg, both better than Bosh.

Bosh's 6.0 rpg is 56th in the NBA (Joakim Noah leads with 13.9). He's 105th in rebounds per 48 minutes with 8.6 (Kevin Love leads with 21.6).

Among his Big Three brethren, Bosh has fallen off the hardest. While LeBron's scoring has dropped, he's having a career year with 8.7 apg. His rebounding average has only dropped slightly below his career average of 7.0 rpg. Dwyane Wade is scoring a steady 24.0 ppg while averaging a career best 5.8 rpg.

Bosh's 6.0 rpg is 1.4 rebounds worse than his previous low from his rookie year. His 14.8 ppg is a huge dropoff from the 22.8 he's averaged over the last five seasons.

Even among his role playing Miami teammates, Bosh's numbers are low. Backup power forward Udonis Haslem is averaging 8.4 rpg in 26 minutes. Centers Joel Anthony and Zydrunas Ilgauskas both average more rebounds per 48 minutes than Bosh.

Blocks per game is the only category where Bosh leads the Heat. He's tied with Anthony at 1.22 bpg. Anthony clocks half the minutes that Bosh plays.

The numbers show that the Miami Heat are paying Chris Bosh the same as LeBron James and more than Dwyane Wade while Bosh is carrying a small fraction of the workload. If he's not getting as many touches in offensive sets, he should be going after more rebounds and wreaking more havoc on defense. His recent play against the Celtics, Jazz and Hornets shows that Bosh is up for neither challenge.

The Heat are on the hook for six years and $110 million of mediocrity in the paint unless Bosh finds it in him to do more than dance during midsummer pep rallies. The only major free agent of 2010 who has done less than Bosh this season is Carlos Boozer and he has the excuse of not playing a single game. For now, Miami's Big Three are more like the Dynamic Duo with one big soft overpaid problem holding them back.

Serena Williams in Her Freaky Gym Gear

2010-11-11T12:33:00.001-05:00

Serena Williams' injured foot might have disappointed her and her fans at the end of the tennis season, but her assets are most definitely still good to go. Hot pink and fluorescent green high top Nikes don't hurt either.

Andrew Bogut Gets Revenge On Amar'e Stoudemire

2010-11-10T05:59:00.000-05:00

Andrew Bogut suffered one of the most horrific injuries in NBA history last year when he dislocated his right elbow, broke his right hand and sprained his right wrist after crashing to the floor on a dunk. Amar'e Stoudemire, then with the Phoenix Suns, nudged Bogut while he was in the air, leading to the disastrous fall of the Milwaukee Bucks' center.

"He completely dismantled his elbow and wrist," said NBA announcer Mike Breen. "He will not get full range of motion back. It'll never go back to 100%."

Bogut's injury is arguably the hardest video to watch in sports. Right up there with Joe Theismann's leg and LeBron James' "The Decision". Yet the Australian center has no problem watching his own agonizing fall. According to Breen, Bogut's approach is, "I don't care. I want to see what happened."

Tuesday night, Bogut faced Stoudemire for the first time since suffering his injury. The two players met at midcourt for the pre-game Captain's meeting. Stoudemire asked Bogut if he was doing OK as they shook hands. Bogut briefly responded in the affirmative and the two returned to their warmup rituals.

The Bucks jumped out to a big early lead and outplayed the Knicks throughout the game. After being elbowed by Bogut while fighting for a rebound during the third quarter, Stoudemire lashed out at him and the Bucks' bench, drawing a technical foul.

"It was intentional," Stoudemire said of Bogut's flying elbows. "I think they might have amped him up to play very physical out there. That might have been the way he reacted on the court."

Either that or Bogut remembers being pushed by the same Amar'e Stoudemire, leaving his arm in multiple fragments of agony.

Bogut capped off a late third quarter, ten point Bucks run by blocking Stoudemire's and running the floor for an Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oye Oye Oye, outback mega dunk.

A shattered elbow paid back with a tech inducing elbow. A broken hand repaid with a block and a monster slam. Missed playoffs avenged by serving Stoudemire his most lopsided defeat with the Knicks, 107-80. Bogut shot 5-5. The avenging dunk was his final bucket of the night.

Allen Iverson's Turkish Crossover

2010-11-09T11:55:00.003-05:00

I want to be happy to see Allen Iverson taking his basketball talents to Turkey. I want to be happy to see him get a two-year $4 million contract to play the game of basketball. I'm really just happy to see him alive after Stephen A. Smith's reports of his drinking & gambling troubles this year.

Smith suggested that Iverson needed more than prayer from his friends and fans. Many of us prayed as hard as we could, but apparently Smith was right. Iverson needed more than prayers.

My prayers started with A.I. sorting out his personal problems. That part appears to have worked out. He's back with his wife, Tawanna, and their daughter is healthy again. I also prayed he'd solve his financial woes and $4 million will go a long way to helping with any money problems he may have had.

Lastly, I prayed for him to have basketball redemption. Maybe Mikhail Prokhorov and Jay-Z could bring Iverson in to the Nets to sell some tickets and bring some hype to Newark until they move to Brooklyn. If Jason Kidd could rebuild his image and rock New Jersey in the process, why couldn't Iverson?

Even Minnesota would've been cool. They just gave Darko Milicic $20 million for four years. Surely they could give Iverson the same $4 million that Turkey is giving him. A.I. must be better than Timberwolves guard Luke Ridnour, right?

I guess the basketball gods see it differently. Maybe they see a guy who left Georgetown before he was truly ready for the responsibility of being a team leader on an NBA team. Maybe they see a player who could work well with others as long as he was getting the minutes and shots he thought he deserved. Maybe they see a man who was given chance after chance to mature and represent a franchise in a business-like way, failing in three cities to do so.

Upon his arrival in Turkey, Iverson was mobbed by a contingent of lively supporters of his new team, Besiktas, at Ataturk Airport in Istanbul. Later, he went to see his Besiktas teammates play and thousands of fans cheered for him as he smiled in the stands. It looked like an HBO drama depicting the life of some wayward ghetto kid finding salvation in a foreign land, living out his dreams of getting paid to play basketball. I guess that's what the reality is, but Iverson's life was already so much more.

"The most important thing is to be accepted, to be wanted and to be appreciated," Iverson said of his reception in Turkey. He sounds more like an abused ex-wife looking for love in a better second marriage than a basketball player trying to win games and championships.

Bob McAdoo is the only other MVP in NBA history to finish his career in Europe after being voted the best player in the league. However, McAdoo's NBA career faded more gracefully, largely because he was willing to accept a lesser role on a great team. He won two rings in 1982 and 1985 as a sixth man with Magic Johnson's showtime Los Angeles Lakers. He embraced coming off the bench for coach Pat Riley behind James Worthy and Michael Cooper, neither of whom were as good as McAdoo had been in his prime.

I doubt Pat Riley gave any thought to bringing Iverson in to sub for Dwyane Wade with the Heat. Ditto Phil Jackson with the Lakers and Doc Rivers with the Celtics. Iverson says he wants to be accepted, wanted and appreciated, but he forgot to mention that he also wants to be exalted, praised and worshipped.

Kobe Bryant and Ray Allen are two other guards from Iverson's 1996 NBA draft class. Both are thriving and winning championships while working well with teammates . The same is true of two time MVP Steve Nash as well as Derek Fisher. Instead of going their route, Iverson has chosen to follow the Stephon Marbury path of "Me me me" all the way out of the league and overseas. Mike Tyson might say they've both faded into Bolivia.

I doubt we'll see Iverson play professionally in America again. Maybe one day we'll see him as an assistant coach in the NBA if John Thompson or Alonzo Mourning can pull strings for their Georgetown brother.

I prayed for so much more for Iverson but I guess he got what he wanted. He's accepted, wanted and appreciated. In Turkey.

Oregon's Outrageous New Basketball Court

2010-11-06T20:51:00.000-04:00

The Oregon Ducks basketball program has outdone Boise St. football for the most outlandish, outrageous, ugliest & yet most innovative surface in college sports. A tree lined spectacle with phrases & logos galore.

Kilkenny Floor, named for longtime University of Oregon supporter Pat Kilkenny, features the words "Deep In The Woods" painted below a giant midcourt "O" and the word "Matt" which looks a giant green stonehenge. The court is inside the new Matt Knight Arena which is named after its designer, Matthew Knight.

According to oregon.247sports.com, the court's graphics depict Morrow County and Heppner, Oregon where Kilkenny was raised, three shamrocks in honor of his Irish heritage, and a sunset beach scene in honor of San Diego, where Kilkenny resides today. And lots and lots of trees in honor of Oregon's 1939 NCAA Championship basketball team called the "Tall Firs".

The court is so ugly that it's beautiful. If only they'd made the graphics 3D.

Kevin Harlan - With No Regard For The Scoreboard - video

2010-11-05T11:06:00.000-04:00

Kevin Harlan can announce games however he wants. He turned Armon Johnson's last second game-losing shot into the most exciting meaningless three pointer ever made. If the Trail Blazer rookie never hits a true game-winning shot in his career, at least he has this highlight of how it could've sounded.
Oklahoma City beat Portland, 107-106. Armon Johnson finished with three points and three assists.

Derrick Rose Posterizes NY Knicks - Video

2010-11-04T21:29:00.002-04:00

Derrick Rose punished the NY Knicks for playing matador defense with a dramatic, emphatic jam. I bet even Michael Jordan's statue outside the United Center came alive off this one. Arguably the most devastating Chicago Bulls dunk since 1998 when M.J. left the building.
Rose eviscerated Toney Douglas before posterizing Danilo Gallinari.
Somewhere Slim Chin is lubed up and shrieking, "Daaayum that's freaky nice. Fast don't lie."

Troy Polamalu Challenges Roger Goodell's Regime

2010-11-04T15:14:00.000-04:00

Troy Polamalu wants to play in an NFL that's more democratic. More American and less Chinese. More Red Hot Chili Peppers and less Guns N' Roses.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette shared Polamalu's take on what fans like about the NFL and the new tackling rules under the dictatorship of commissioner Roger Goodell.

"It's football, you know. If people want to watch soccer they can watch soccer. But honestly, overseas when people are attracted to this game, they're going to see the big hits. They're not going to care about touchdowns and different things."

"(Goodell's) got all the power. That may be part of the problem, that there needs to be some type of separation of power like our government.

"There should be some type of players involved in decisions over how much people should be fined or what they should be fined for, as well as coaches, as well as front office people. I don't think it should be just totally based on what two or three people may say who are totally away from the game. I think it should be some of the players who are currently playing."

Polamalu is a bad dude. Hair commercials and all. The NFL he envisions sounds like a league fans would enjoy even more. The NBA would also improve if they had more voices judging penalties, fines and suspensions.

We vote for laws and serve as jurors. NFL Hall of Famers vote for new inductees. Why should't active players have a say in the punishment of their peers? They have a better idea of what's truly dangerous in the moment and what crosses the line of decency in the field of play.

When asked if the NFL is confused in its approach to ruling on legal hits, Polamalu said, "No, I don't think there's any confusion. I just think the problem is that they're wrong.

Kevin Garnett Squashes Villanueva Cancer Misunderstanding

2010-11-03T17:35:00.002-04:00

Kevin Garnett clarified the misunderstanding that led to Charlie Villanueva misquoting him on twitter after the Celtics' 109-86 blow out of the Pistons Tuesday night. Villanueva accused Garnett of saying the Pistons forward looks like a cancer patient with his hairlessness.

"I am aware there was a major miscommunication regarding something I said on the court last night," Garnett said in a statement. "My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact 'You are cancerous to your team and our league.' I would never be insensitive to the brave struggle that cancer patients endure. I have lost loved ones to this deadly disease and have a family member currently undergoing treatment. I would never say anything that distasteful. The game of life is far bigger than the game of basketball."

Now that that's settled, Charlie Villanueva can focus on the real problems in his life like being a 6'11" guy who's averaging only 5.9 rebounds in 25.9 minutes per game over his career. Or how about the fact that in five years with three different teams, he's only won more than 28 games once, and that was 34 games with the Bucks in 2008-09.

The Bucks didn't fight to keep Villanueva after that season and he signed with the Pistons as a free agent. Milwaukee won 12 more games the next season. That same year, the Pistons lost 12 more games than they'd won the year before Villanueva got there. Coincidence? I think not.

Kevin Garnett may have a point, if he really said what he says he said about Charlie Villanueva.

Charlie Villanueva cries about Kevin Garnett cancer joke

2010-11-03T13:35:00.003-04:00

After suffering a 109-86 beatdown by the Boston Celtics Tuesday night, Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva tweeted his displeasure with Kevin Garnett's trash talk during the game. He accused Garnett of calling him a "cancer patient".

Villanueva has alopecia universalis which is a condition that leaves him with no body hair including eyebrows and eyelashes. Villanueva said he was "pissed" because he knows people who have died from cancer and that Garnett shouldn't joke about it.

I appreciate Villanueva's concern for cancer patients. I've suffered significant and devastating loss in my family due to the cruelty of cancer. Perhaps Kevin Garnett was out of line for making jokes about a serious and often fatal illness.

However, Charlie Villanueva should man up and shut up. Tattling about what somebody said to you on the court is as soft as it gets. Imagine Dennis Rodman saying, "Charles Barkley called me a faggot and that's not nice." Not even Shawn Bradley would ever have said, "Gary Payton called me the albino saltine and that's mean to albinos."

Fans don't need to know if Garnett talked about Villanueva's mama, if he said his girl is ugly or that he plays like a palsy patient on the court. If he didn't like what Garnett said, he should've done more in his 33 minutes to keep Garnett from scoring a game high 22 points.

Villanueva finished with only one foul. He easily could've used a foul to bang Garnett and tell him "That was for cancer patients you chemo breath motherfucker." The game was a blowout and the Pistons are 0-4. A good hard flagrant foul might have sent a message that at least one player besides Ben Wallace is ready to go to war for Detroit.

Villanueva also tweeted, "KG talks alot of crap, he's prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him." He had his chance to swing on KG and didn't do a damn thing. He waited until he got home and tweeted about it.

Tonight the Pistons play the Atlanta Hawks. I hope Villanueva isn't up all night tweeting, "Josh Smith said I cry like a bitch and dammit, dogs have feelings too."

Joakim Noah On Ron Artest & Phil Jackson

2010-11-03T11:04:00.000-04:00

This past off-season, Joakim Noah read Sacred Hoops, Phil Jackson's inspiring book about Zen and basketball. Then he watched video of last season's game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics. Noah focused his attention on Ron Artest, a fellow native New York wild child.

"You have to look at his face in that game, his demeanor," said Noah. "There were a couple of times early on when he went to the basket and clearly got fouled and it wasn't called. He didn't even look at the ref. This is Ron Artest, and he didn't look at the ref. He was so caught up in the game and so focused on winning. I believe Phil Jackson took that man to the next level that night. And then after the game, Ron Artest became Ron Artest again."

For more on Noah, check out this fantastic piece by Lee Jenkins of Sports Illustrated.

Brett Favre Knocked Out of Patriot Game

2010-10-31T19:34:00.000-04:00

Brett Favre rested peacefully in the arms of a trainer after getting knocked out of the game between the Minnesota Vikings and New England Patriots. The trainer gently cradled Favre like a sleeping baby while applying direct pressure to the fallen quarterback's bleeding chin.

Perhaps even worse than the blow to Favre's face was the devastation suffered by his ego. Backup quarterback Tarvares Jackson completed a touchdown pass on his first attempt after replacing Favre. Jackson followed that with a completed a pass for the subsequent two point conversion.

The Vikings went on to lose 28-18. Brad Childress may be the happiest coach ever to have an injured first string quarterback. He can turn the team over to Jackson as they limp through the rest of a disappointing season. The coffin may be closing on Brett Favre's career on Halloween 2010.

Jason Williams Unjustly Ejected, Suspended

2010-10-30T15:15:00.004-04:00

Jason Williams is the first regular season victim of David Stern's new no tolerance technical foul policy. He received two technicals for calmly discussing a charging call he disagreed with. He was then suspended for lightly touching the arm of the ref who gave him the calls.
White Chocolate is now a third string PG for the Orlando Magic behind Jameer Nelson and Chris Duhon. Even so, does the league want to be known for suspending players for marginal offenses? What other contact sport would eject a player for simply disagreeing with a ref and then suspended him for gently touching the ref's arm?
Stern tried to increase the range of technical foul calls in the 2006-07 season. The rules were scaled back by January of that season after players filed an unfair labor practice charge against the league with the National Labor Relations Board.
The players may need to revisit those tactics again if Stern and vice president of basketball operations Stu Jackson continue to mete out petty technical fouls & unwarranted suspensions.

Delonte West Wilds Out On Wafer

2010-10-30T04:03:00.001-04:00

Delonte West has reportedly gotten into a couple small fights with guard Von Wafer at recent Celtics practices. West, who is currently on home detention and probation for gun charges, instigated both incidents on the court. The most recent incident continued in the locker room after practice.

While West serves out a ten game league suspension, Wafer is the player taking his in-game minutes. Wafer has played in two of the Celtics three games. In ten minutes of total action, he's gotten the same number of points, assists, rebounds, steals and blocks as the suspended West - zero. One turnover and one foul are the only numbers Wafer has posted so far this season.

Here's video of West taking it to Von Wafer in practice, leading to their first altercation last week. They were playing in a 2-on-2 drill and at 0:48 of the clip, West viciously posted up Wafer before assistant coach Lawrence Frank called a foul. West punctuated the action by yelling, "Do something about it!" at Wafer.

Alex Kennedy of hoopsworld.com said West and Wafer battled during a 3-on-3 drill at Celtics' practice on Friday. Wafer left the court early when West began fouling him every time he touched the ball.

Later in the locker room, West sucker punched a seated Wafer from behind leading to fists flying and a floor fight that was broken up by their teammates.

"There was a fight and that's all you need to know," coach Doc Rivers acknowledged. "I'm not real thrilled that it happened, but we'll handle it."

Celtics president Danny Ainge said, "Guys talk trash and that kind of stuff but I'm not aware of any other altercation among any players at all during the course of the year. These things happen. It's not acceptable behavior. We'll just handle it internally and that's it.

Von Wafer was asked about the incidents and he deferred to his bosses.

"I don't know what's going on. You gotta talk to Doc and Danny about that. I don't even know what's going on. What happened?"

"Supposedly you and (Delonte) had a fight," said a reporter.

"You gotta talk to Doc and Danny," said Wafer.

"Did you have a fight?"

"You gotta talk to Doc and Danny."

Danny Ainge instigated and agitated throughout his NBA career. He fought opposing guards and centers. He fought stars and journeymen. He also became the only front office executive ever fined for distracting opposing players on the court after he threw a towel in the air during J.J. Hickson's free throw attempts in last year's Celtics-Cavs series.

Ainge knows how chippy basketball can get, especially with a tough, edgy competitor like Delonte West. I bet that deep down, Ainge is more impressed by West's fire than by the maturity displayed by Von Wafer in walking away from violence. Had Ainge been Delonte's target, he would've hit West back even harder after each foul with no thought given to walking off the court early.

In training camp this year, Doc Rivers called West, "The most competitive player I've ever coached." Ainge and Rivers knew who they were signing when they brought West back for his second stint with the Celtics. The same guy that intimidates his teammate who's trying to take his minutes will go even harder against opponents. The Celtics will have no problem waiting out the seven games left in West's suspension.

Shaquille O'Neal knows West well from playing together in Cleveland last season. He sums up Delonte's NBA outlook in Big Shamrock style.

"He's on the big "P" so if he messes up with the big "P" he can get the "J". Peanut butter and jelly. Probation and jail. He's going to be cool and we're going to keep him in line."

Hopefully Shaq and Kevin Garnett will help keep Delonte focused this year. It would be better to see West thriving like Ron Artest on a championship caliber NBA team than looking for work in Turkey like Allen Iverson.

Ron Artest Raffles Ring On Larry King - Video

2010-10-29T21:23:00.006-04:00

Ron Artest appeared on Larry King to launch a raffle contest in which the winner will win his Los Angeles Lakers championship ring. Proceeds will benefit those in need of psychiatric and psychological help.

This episode of Larry King crushes the one hyping LeBron James and "The Decision". It's more fun to watch a charitable champion than a king with no ring to donate.

Hakim Warrick Posterizes Raja Bell & Paul Millsap - Video

2010-10-29T01:15:00.001-04:00

Hakim Warrick simultaneously posterized Raja Bell and Paul Millsap of the Utah Jazz on Thursday night. Warrick finished a strong pick and roll off of a pass from Steve Nash that led to the devastation of Bell and Millsap. Nash shook Al Jefferson and Deron Williams to set up the play.
Phoenix misses Amar'e Stoudemire a little less now that Warrick has taken over as thunder dunker of the Suns. The Suns won 108-92. Warrick finished with 18 points and 11 rebounds.

Chris Bosh Is "Tall Justice" - Video

2010-10-28T10:40:00.005-04:00

Chris Bosh has released a new short film called "Tall Justice". Bosh plays a meter maid who is hell bent on cleaning up crime & parking violations in the streets.
A meter maid.
So the roles of the Miami Heat are set and they're way more elaborate than Batman & Robin (Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen) or even Donkey & Shrek (Big Baby Davis & Nate Robinson).
LeBron James is the Villain.
Dwyane Wade is Agent D3.
And Chris Bosh is Chris Justice, the meter maid.
Do you think Amar'e Stoudemire or Kevin Garnett fear the meter maid?

Blake Griffin's Debut Dunks - Video

2010-10-28T02:22:00.000-04:00

Blake Griffin didn't waste any time unleashing his outlandish athleticism on the NBA. He had 20 points, 14 boards, 4 assists and 2 monster dunks in his debut against the Portland Trail Blazers. The Staples Center wasn't rocking as hard as it does for Laker games, but it was the most aerial excitement the Clippers have had in years.
Some things haven't changed as the Clippers lost 98-88. Don't blame Blake though. The rookie shot 8-14 while vets Chris Kaman and Baron Davis combined for 7-29. The Clippers face the Golden State Warriors on Friday. With their soft paint defense, expect more nasty dunks from Blake Griffin.

Phil Jackson Has Ring Issues

2010-10-27T17:51:00.001-04:00

Phil Jackson has won so many NBA titles that he's jaded about his new championship ring. The ring he received in LA last night has sixteen oversized diamonds, one for each championship in Laker history. They also have 3D engravings of each player's face.

Phil's problem? "They're unwearable," said the Zen Master according to USA Today. He thinks they're too big to wear and adds, "I always think they're something that should be able to be worn."

If the Heat win it all this year, I bet Eric Spoelstra finds a way to wear an even bigger ring... that is assuming Pat Riley hasn't axed him after a three game losing streak in January.

I guess if a guy already has twelve NBA rings, the thirteenth one better be pretty perfect or else it might be a little disappointing. But you at least honor the distinction of the achievement. You keep the ring sacred, right?

So Phil did what he always does and gave the ring to his long term girlfriend, Jeannie Buss, daughter of ring designer and Lakers' owner Dr. Jerry Buss. Smooth. Even at 65 years of age, the old dog still has it.

But Jeannie must be ready for a more serious ring from Phil because she immediately loaned the ring out to Justin Bieber.

Yeah Justin Bieber wore Phil Jackson's ring. If that doesn't offend the basketball gods, they must still be too pissed about "The Decision" to focus on more recent matters.

I understand that Bieber rocked Usher's world so hard that he had to blow him up into 21st century Elvis even though he never even competed on American Idol. But there is no way in hell that baby Bieber should be rocking the ring of the Zen Master of the Triangle.

Can you imagine Greg Popovich letting Joe Jonas wear one of his rings? I guess Pat Riley will be loaning his ring to Willow Smith, or whoever is the teen pop star in 2014 when the Heat finally win a championship.

LeBron James: New Questions After Heat Debut

2010-10-27T13:13:00.002-04:00

What should I do?

Should I take over in the third quarter of every game when we only have 30 points at the half?

Should I find a team with a guard who can defend Rajon Rondo? I thought Wade could do it but I guess I was wrong.

What should I do?

Should I demand a trade if Pat Riley isn't coaching the Heat by the All-Star break?

Should I tell Ilgauskas that I'm really sorry but we're going to have to trade him for a younger guy who can actually guard somebody in the paint?

Should I tell Chris Bosh that I have no intention of reliving my Antawn Jamison experience of softness in big games?

What should I do? What should I do?

Should I stop trying to use turnovers as a triple double padding stat?

Should I find a way to stop this losing streak I'm on? Maybe I should've played with Team USA last summer.

Should I hire Slim Chin to spice up my ad?

What should I do?

Should I unleash a thirty point blowout on the Sixers tonight that makes Doug Collins wish he'd stayed in the announcers booth?

Should I keep being the winless player most of y'all want me to be?

What should I do?

Dwyane Wade As Agent D3: New Jumpman Ad

2010-10-26T15:32:00.002-04:00

Dwyane Wade adds Flash to James Bond in his latest commercial for Michael Jordan's Jumpman 23 brand. While Miami Heat teammate LeBron James' new Nike ad is serious with moments of humor, Wade's spot is all action and adventure.
In the next episode, D3 needs to bring his girlfriend, Gabrielle Union, in to be Miss Moneypenny.

What I Want LeBron James To Be

2010-10-26T13:54:00.041-04:00

LeBron James asks a lot of questions in his latest Nike ad, "Rise". For a guy who recently made such a big decision, LeBron seems to have uncorked many more mysteries in the process. So I thought I'd offer answers and help him be a better NBA player.

LBJ: What should I do? Should I admit that I've made mistakes?
Mojo: Yes. It worked for Alex Rodriguez. He admitted he took steroids and boom! He became a World Series champion who no longer struggled on playoff stages. A good start would be speaking truthfully about why the Cavs never won a championship in the LeBron James era.

LBJ: Should I tell you how much fun we (the Cavs) had?
Mojo: Yes, tell us how much fun Cleveland was. What was it like joking around in the locker room while the Spurs were sweeping you out of the Finals in '07? And what about posing for all those faux pix while Kobe & Kevin Garnett were doing work on the way to championships? That looked like fun too. And what really happened in that Boston hotel with Delonte last year? He always seems like he's having fun to me.

LBJ: Should I really believe I ruined my legacy?
Mojo: Hell no. Brett Favre is ruining his legacy. Roger Clemens ruined his legacy. How can a legacy be ruined just by decisively switching teams and playing at a high level within the rules? Did Shaq ruin his legacy by signing with the Lakers? Did Steve Nash ruin his by signing with the Suns?

LBJ: Should I have my tattoo removed?

Mojo: Definitely not. Chris Anderson keeps raising the tattoo stakes, so now is not the time to laser ink away. A better idea would be a giant cover up of that "Chosen 1" cheese. How about something wicked like a full back piece skull? Or what about fulfilling the prophesy in the Virgosis and getting a giant Darth Vader mask tat?

LBJ: Wanna see my shiny new shoes?

Mojo: No. The "LeBron 8" is just as ugly as the rest of the LeBron Nikes. Kobe might be approaching Jordan status on the court, but MJ still owns all in sneakers.

LBJ: Should I tell you, "I am not a role model"?

Mojo: Why would anyone follow in Charles Barkley's footsteps in any way? Why aspire to be like an underachieving bloated loser who caddies for people who abused him throughout his career? I bet jelly donuts taste better than that elbow sandwich Jordan served fat Chuck's grill.

LBJ: Should I tell you I'm a championship chaser who did it for the money, ring?

Mojo: Yes! Championship chasing in Miami is much better than losing on a historically bad franchise like the Cavs with their asinine owner Dan Gilbert.

LBJ: Should I be who you want me to be?

Mojo: Yes. Be a triple double averaging defensive beast who guards all 5 positions. A more athletic Magic Johnson meets a less suspended Dennis Rodman.

LBJ: Should I accept my role as a villian?

Mojo: Yes, but not a typical bad guy who dies in the end. We need a real villian that keeps coming back like Anton Chigurh, Jason and Freddy. Somebody whose methods tittilate some and terrify others. One thing though- real villians don't dance. So no more boogieing and rhyming during time outs.

LBJ: Should I stop listening to my friends?

Mojo: Definitely keep listening to Warren Buffett. And if Oprah is a friend, listen to her too.

LBJ: Should I try acting?

Mojo: Try? You mean that jheri curl, spandex & headband ain't acting?

LBJ: Should I make you laugh?

Mojo: Yes! Start by channeling Joakim Noah and saying, "What's so good about Cleveland?" every time you beat the Cavs in their gym.

LBJ: Should I read you a soulful poem?

Mojo: No. Florida already has enough bad NBA wordsmiths with the poetry of J.J. Redick. A Dwight Howard styled children's album could be cool though.

LBJ: Should we just clear the decks and start over?

Mojo: Well the Nets need a permanent home, a new arena and a fresh start but there doesn't seem to be a lot of interest in helping out Jay Z and Mike Prokhorov. Ruskies who "has opulence" can buy mini giraffes, but NBA talent is harder to come by.

LBJ: What should I do? Should I be who you want me to be?

Mojo: If that includes a triple double in every game on the way to an Eastern Conference Semifinal playoff exit, then yes! Start off with a 30 point, 15 rebound, 10 assist loss tonight.

Four Franchises For David Stern's Contraction Plan

2010-10-22T22:37:00.000-04:00

NBA commissioner David Stern said he thinks the subject of dissolving teams will be considered during the league's contract negotiations with the players' union next year.

"I think that's a subject that will be on the table with the players as we look to see what's the optimum way to present our game and are there cities and teams that cannot make it in the current economic environment," Stern said.

A post on nba.com said Stern wants to reduce player costs by $700-800 million next year because the league is losing too much money. While he claims that league expansion has always been his goal, he's willing to consider contraction as a way of chiseling away at player salaries.

I don't think David Stern would cut off his hands to save money on gloves. He seems more like a guy who'd save nickels and dimes by cutting back on his kids' allowances and feeding his dog less. He'd rather pay the players less than have less teams to show off in the sports world.

Maybe the league should squash some squads to save money. Here are four teams, two in each conference, that the league might be better without.

1. Los Angeles Clippers. Donald Sterling is the worst owner in basketball. In forty years of existence, they've never won a championship, conference title, or even a division. They were losers in Buffalo, losers in San Diego and losers through 3 different Los Angeles Laker dynasties. Contraction can commence with the Clippers. Total contract value saved: $116 million.

2. Indiana Pacers. The Reggie Miller era Pacers were fantastic. Dale Davis, Mark Jackson, Rik Smits. Derrick McKey. And then Ron Artest and Jermaine O'Neal. But now, with Dookies Josh McRoberts and Mike Dunleavy playing with Tyler Hansbrough on Larry Bird's melaninically challenged dream team, the Pacers are a boring squad of perennial losers.

Indianapolis already has Peyton Manning and the Indy 500. They can afford to lose the Pacers and the NBA would be better without Klan Kapital, Indiana. Total contract value saved: $140 million.

3. Minneapolis Timberwolves. I love the city of Minneapolis and the state of Minnesota. If they lost the T-Wolves because of contraction, I'd want them to get another team as soon as the league had more money.

The Timberwolves can go though. Kevin McHale's bad business with Joe Smith cost them five first round picks, crippling them from 2000-2005. Flip Saunders couldn't figure out how to win with MVP and Defensive Player of the Year Kevin Garnett. They haven't made the playoffs since 2004 and their big 2010 off-season acquisition was dud Darko Milicic thanks to the anti-savvy of their general manager David Kahn.

Minnesota lost the original Lakers in 1960 and can survive losing the Timberwolves. Total contract value saved: $68 million.

4. Charlotte Bobcats. I have family in Charlotte. I got nothing but love for Charlotte. Yet I wouldn't mind seeing the league fold Michael Jordan's team. In this past offseason, MJ has hated on both Kobe Bryant & LeBron James. I don't remember any other owner hating on either except for Dan Gilbert's rant against LeBron.

MJ is turning into an old crabby hater. He got his rings as a player but can't recapture the glory as a front office exec. So he takes pot shots at young guys who threaten to eclipse some of his marks.

Charlotte deserves better. The NBA should dissolve the Bobcats now and come back in five years with yet another Charlotte team, this time owned by Magic Johnson. Total contract value saved: $169 million.

With the removal of those four franchises, the NBA would save nearly $500 million in player salaries. Once the economic climate improves, Minnesota and Charlotte would be welcomed back into the league with better ownership & brighter futures. Angelenos would unite in support of their one and only real basketball team, the Lakers. And Indianapolis could become the first city to land a team in the All-American Basketball Alliance.

High School Football Announcers Go Nuts For Matthew Showalter

2010-10-22T10:52:00.000-04:00

Matthew Showalter made Ronald Richardson and Jasson Sturgeon lose they damn minds. I reckon them boys had a triple case o' wings & brews by the bucket after that game.
They deserve it. They done put Arkansas back on the sports map.
"Touchdown Matthew Showalter. Touchdown Matthew Showalter! Wowwwww! Oh my gosh!"

Gus Johnson Parts With The Knicks

2010-10-22T09:25:00.000-04:00

Gus Johnson is out as the radio and part time TV voice of the NY Knicks. Johnson wanted more money and the Knicks balked. After estabslishing a tradition of overpaying Allan Houston, Eddy Curry and yes even Isiah Thomas, now the Knicks want to tighten up by not paying the best voice in basketball?
A smarter move would've been to let the relatively bland Mike Breen go. Breen became the full time TV voice of the Knicks after chairman Jim Dolan became displeased with the calls of the legend Marv Albert. A thirty-seven year vet of calling classic Knick games, Albert was released because he criticized the lackluster play of the Knicks in 2004. That was also the first year of the Isiah Thomas era. Albert was released for telling the truth.
Gus Johnson is the most exciting broadcaster in sports. As great as Marv Albert still is, Gus has taken the art of basketball calls to a higher level. He's also among the elite when announcing football and mixed martial arts. He's even the voice of choice on Madden 11.
It was fun while it lasted in NY. Gus will continue on to bigger and better things. Hopefully he'll bump Jim Nantz as the lead voice during March Madness.
For Knicks fans who can't get enough Gus, click here for Gus sound bites.
Enjoy a taste of Gus calling the most exciting play during his Knicks tenure.

Mike Miller's Unlucky Thumb

2010-10-21T15:44:00.000-04:00

Mike Miller came to Miami with a fresh cut & ready to nut open threes night after night with the Heat. Now a freak injury to his right thumb will keep him sidelined at least through the start of the season.

As if playing with the Timberwolves, Grizzlies & Wizards hasn't been bad enough, it might be even worse to sit on the sidelines and not be a part of the excitement with the revamped Heat. All those easy open looks that LeBron & Bosh will create will now go to reserve James Jones.

Miller finished second in shooting from downtown last year at 48% with none of his teammates drawing attention away from him. How much easier would his job be with the Heat? Who's staying home to guard Miller with LeBron James, Dwyane Wade & Chris Bosh on the court?

Miller needs some of that mamba venom because Kobe would probably just tape the thumb up and keep playing.

China vs. Brazil Basketball Brawl - Video

2010-10-14T18:18:00.004-04:00

China and Brazil got in a brawl almost as heinous as Greece vs. Serbia. It was Royce Gracie vs. Bruce Lee. It was Kung Fu vs. Capoeira.
Looks like China won the fight but Brazil might not have fought their hardest considering the game was being played in Xuchang, Henan in China. Talk about being outnumbered.
We need a Yao-Varejao peace summit.

Barnes - Landry Battle Lands On Laker Girl - Video

2010-10-14T14:17:00.015-04:00

Matt Barnes served notice that he's increasing the physical play of the Lakers in last night's preseason game in Las Vegas. Barnes strong armed 6'9", 248 pound Carl Landry and slung the Sacramento Kings forward out of bounds and onto a Laker Girl. With that one act, Barnes paid homage to Laker history.
By bringing the pain to the Kings during the preseason, Barnes brought back memories of the classic preseason fight between Rick Fox & Doug Christie in 2002.

I'm not sure if Christie's wife Jackie was trying to hit Rick Fox with the bag or maybe she was down there to make sure Vanessa Williams didn't start a threesome with the two brawling bawlers.
And then there's the Kobe Bryant gem from that same 2002 season. Check out Kobe busting Mike Bibby's mouth with an exclamation point in a game 6 win for the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals.

To recap, the Lakers are 2-0-1 in fights against the Kings. Barnes' TKO over Landry. Kobe's KO over Bibby. Fox/Christie was a draw.
Props to Ashley, that tough ass Laker girl, for taking one for the team.

Obama Roots Bulls First, Then The Heat

2010-10-13T16:07:00.002-04:00

President Barack Obama appeared at a private event in Alonzo Mourning's back yard Monday night. It's always good to hear about a U.S. president who not only knows the game of basketball, but actually has game and looks for chances to hang out with the world's best ballers.

Current Miami Heat stars Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade were among Alonzo's guests and the two enjoyed spending time with Obama.

"We went to Alonzo's house," Bosh said. "He just had a couple people over. It was really nice just chilling, just the guys. It was a cool experience just to get to meet the president because I've never met the president before."

But the good news kinda stops there. According to people at the party, Obama said he'd be rooting for the Heat except for when they played the Bulls. That's not as bad as when presidential candidate and lifelong Yankee fan Rudy Giuliani said he'd root for the Red Sox while campaigning in Massachusetts, but it's pretty close.

Obama should be rooting against the Heat every single time they step onto the court.

As a Chicago Bulls fan, Obama should know that his team will benefit just about every time the Heat lose. The Bulls could well be in the top 4 teams in the Eastern Conference, maybe even a 1 seed. If they lose out on home court to the Heat, how happy will Obama be then?

Additionally, both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade spurned the Bulls' invitation to bring their talents to Chicago. Are other real Bulls or even Knicks or Cavs fans going to be rooting for the Heat? Doubtful and Obama shouldn't either.

I could see if Obama wanted to make his second favorite team the Lakers. They're the only NBA team to earn their way to the White House since Obama was elected. So far, the Kobe era of Laker championships runs the same span as Obama's presidency. Is Obama going to root for the Heat when they face his old pals Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher? How could he?

Or what about rooting for a young guy with his head screwed on straight who happens to play in a red state? Kevin Durant. He's from Washington D.C., went to college at Texas (red state) and plays in Oklahoma (red state). Instead of rooting for the evil empire of the Miami Heat, Obama would be rooting for a young Luke Skywalker and possibly gaining votes at the same time.

If the Bulls take care of business and earn the number one seed, none of this should matter as the president could be rooting for Joakim Noah to dominate Andrew Jesus Bynum on the way to the Bulls' first post-Jordan championship.

Gilbert Arenas Fined For Fake Injury

2010-10-13T14:40:00.000-04:00

Gilbert Arenas has been fined an undisclosed amount for faking a knee injury and lying to Wizards coach Flip Saunders about it. Saunders called Arenas actions "unjustified" and the Washington Post reports that Arenas apologized to the team after practice today.

Arenas claimed that he faked the injury so that teammate Nick Young would get more playing time during the Wizards' preseason home opener against the Atlanta Hawks.

Here's video of his post game comments where mentions that he "sacrificed playing tonight so (Young) could get some time."

Arenas has probably learned the lessons of not waving guns as a joke and not tweeting quips about police investivations into his felonious activities. He probably doesn't even own any guns any more.

But Arenas hasn't found a way to close his mouth when it counts most. Why tell the media that he lied to his coach? In what scenario would that ever be a good idea?

When he was charged with wielding a gun in the Wizards' locker room last season, he didn't seem to understand that the law and the league were taking his jokes seriously until he was on his way to incarceration.

The Wizards were likely looking forward to last night's home opener as a way to show their fans that last year was buried in the past and that this new squad led by rookie John Wall would be more focused on the game of basketball and more serious about winning.

Arenas crushed those intentions by again choosing to follow his own misguided ideas instead of falling in line with the plans of Coach Saunders as well as G.M. Ernie Grunfeld.

To his credit, Nick Young took advantage of his increased minutes with 24 points on 10-14 shooting and the Wizards won 107-92.

Maybe Arenas' sacrifice is about trying to show the Wizards that they don't really need him and will be even more inspired to trade him. But what team wants to pay $70 million to a guy who disregards his coach on a whim? If Isiah Thomas was still with the Knicks, maybe. But beyond that, not even the Clippers will go that route.

Arenas came to this year's training camp with a new number, new beard and claims of a new serious attitude. Yet ain't nothing changed. The guy who publicly laughed at his coach, Eddie Jordan, for pleading for more defense is still blowing off his coaches. The guy who played online poker during halftime still isn't focused on winning championships. And the guy who embarrassed the Wizards last year is embarrassing them again and the season hasn't even started yet.